MJ Dunn

Establishing Shot

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Scripts: 0
Reviews: 2

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MJ Dunn completed a review for
1 year ago
SCARE US feature
Genre: Horror
Review Rating:

setup is off to a good start. Easy to visualise and understand the core characters. Scenes in the beginning are well described, short clear and easy to visualise. Dialogue is natural but very much of a teenager or early twenties vibe. Big issue is that the 1st act is over fifty pages long. Key incident around page 30 but the story doesn't start properly until almost an hour into it. In reality I personally would have abandoned the movie by this point. This is largely due to far too strung out dialogues. The dialogue needs to be much crisper in act 1 which is nearly half the screenplay. Also, told through visuals instead of words. Reads more like a stage play than a screenplay. Into act two there are several clich├ęd scenes which are quite easy to visualise through the scene descriptions but were becoming predictable. They were also thrown together one after the other with very little causality. The events did not feel linked, more like random chaos this happened then that then this. Very difficult to follow a narrative thread. How is the hero causing the action through choices to obstacles? Hero was too capable during initial conflict, I was not rooting for him at all. Needed taken back a few steps in order to arc more. Massive action descriptions followed by massive dialogue sections comprised most of act 2. 3 pages long at a time, would have read better if dispersed more evenly, tension built up to a culmination. By act 3 I simply didn't care about the main characters and was thoroughly confused by Vicki's motivation. Came out of nowhere and made no sense. Definitely a concept worth pursuing in there it just needs to be character driven with tighter structure.

MJ Dunn just claimed a review for a script.
1 year ago
SCARE US feature
Genre: Horror
Logline: When a group of freelance performers is hired to play horror characters at a Halloween party, the night turns deadly when they find themselves in a life or death game with the very people they were hired to scare.
MJ Dunn completed a review for
1 year ago
THE HAPPY WARRIOR feature
MJ Dunn just claimed a review for a script.
1 year ago
THE HAPPY WARRIOR feature
Genre: War,Action/Adventure
Logline: Two veterans of the 2nd Polish Corps met in Edinburgh to meet an old friends who became a unsung hero. In a battle which became overshadowed in WW2
MJ Dunn just joined ScriptMother!
1 year ago

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