Lidia Nardone

Lidia N.

Ranking
Establishing Shot
Reviewer Rating
Scripts
2
Reviews
2
Scripts
feature
Sign In to see % Rating
A romantic man proposes to his girlfriend of 7 years on a mountain, but the soon to be bride then jumps off the cliff to her death. It is a tale of revenge and justice.
Activity
LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

completed a review for

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
Rating: 93%
Well done David, I really enjoyed "The Waiting Room", it was a fresh, interesting screenplay. The scene descriptions were really written well - they were evocative and succinct. Also that character descriptions are sweet and short. There are just some things to note however. The first thing is that your Scene Headings are mostly not written correctly. So you have to fix most of your Scene Headings. For Example on page three 'Int: RAIL CAR' should be INT. RAIL CAR - NIGHT. As each slug line requires a 'DAY' or 'NIGHT' on the end. So, each INT or EXT should be in capitals and should have a full stop, not a colon. Also on page four of your screenplay, you don't have to italicise when Jack says 'Where you from?'. Further you should watch your punctuation and grammar and especially at the end of your sentences. For Example on page five of your screenplay "GATEKEEPER Showtime, Bitch" should have a full stop on the end and also 'DAMIEN (frightened) Fucking Nevada? Jesus Christ...Philly. I'm from Philly. Who-' should have a question mark on the end. Also on page nine 'DAMIEN Why? What sun? WHY FUCKIN' ME?' should not be paragraphed - dialogue should generally not be paragraphed. This is also seen on page twelve 'DAMIEN Wait, you can't take him! I don't understand!' should not be paragraphed. As well as "DAMIEN What? Suck a dick! Where are we?" should not be paragraphed on page four. Also on page ten of your screenplay, 'INT: DAMIENS CELL' should be 'INT. DAMIEN'S CELL'. In addition, "INT: MARCUS CELL - NIGHT" should be "INT: MARCUS' CELL - NIGHT". Further on page ten of your screenplay, 'ELIJAH (To guard) You don't have to do this. But I forgive you.' should be 'ELIJAH (to guard) You don't have to do this. But I forgive you.' . Remember that parentheticals should never be capitalised. Also on page five, (Busts out laughing) should be (busts out laughing). Also you could make some of your sentences shorter, so it makes the screenplay easier to read, follow and understand. Have a mix of short and long sentences. Further on page one of your screenplay, 'AMIEN Ah..' should be "AMIEN Ah...". Also on page one of your screenplay, "A political debacle is on the TV's." should be "A political debacle is on the televisions". Overall, it was an original screenplay with a great concept.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

The Waiting Room short
Genre: Horror
After an alcohol fueled night, a man wakes up to discover he has been kidnapped into a modern day Gladiator ring, and must fight in order to stay alive.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

The Final Project: Part One short
Genre: Drama
Three college students set out to make a documentary about mental illness and get carried away in the process.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

uploaded a script.

Simone, The Superior feature
Genre: Thriller,Drama,Comedy
A romantic man proposes to his girlfriend of 7 years on a mountain, but the soon to be bride then jumps off the cliff to her death. It is a tale of revenge and justice.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

completed a review for

Alternative feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Horror,Comedy
Rating: 67%
Well done Cyle, I really enjoyed "Alternative", it was a fresh, interesting screenplay. There are just some things to note however. The first thing is that your Scene Headings are mostly not written correctly. So you have to fix most of your Scene Headings. For example, INT. - BASEMENT, NIGHT, should in turn be INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT. Further, they should always include the time of day (either DAY or NIGHT). For example INT. - BASEMENT should be INT. BASEMENT - DAY or INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT. And the location should only be two words, not INT. - DINING AREA, FAST FOOD RESTAURANT. On page 51 EXT. - CITY, EVENING, should just be EXT. CITY - NIGHT. Also there should be at least a sentence after the scene heading, for the location director. On page 25 in your screenplay, don't include include quotation marks in the dialogue when JOSH says "The Deman" as well as on page 26 "Queen Gwyneth!". Further is Deman meant to be spelt Demon? In your screenplay, it is very noticeable that the characters swear a lot which is not encouraged by producers and executives. Additionally, in your screenplay there should be no numbers in digit form, unless you write e.g. 1917. Otherwise on pages such as page 30 change "4 in the morning", to four in the morning. Also in your screenplay change "10 in the morning" to ten in the morning. Also one exclamation is plenty, do not use more than one for example on page 32 change when RICHARD says Fuck!!! to just Fuck!. This is also evident on page 40 twice, amongst other pages. In your screenplay on page 41 and 53 and other pages ensure (cont'd) is in CAPS. Further, on page 10 of the screenplay "What did I ever do to you?!" should instead be " What did I ever do to you!". On page 49 change 'FEMALE NEWS REPORTER ON TV' to just 'FEMALE NEWS REPORTER'. And remove the '(Printed with the demonstration version of Fade In)' in the header. On page 4, WOMAN ON TV is never mentioned in the scene description - characters must always first be mentioned in the scene description in CAPS. And instead of writing dialogue words in CAPS, underline the words instead. Otherwise, I enjoyed your scene descriptions, they were quite succinct and engaging. The concept and story were very original and fresh.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

just claimed a review for a script.

Alternative feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Horror,Comedy
After getting fed up with evil winning in the end of horror movies, a man decides to take matters into his own hands.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

uploaded a script.

Simone, The Superior feature
Genre: Thriller,Mystery/Suspense,Comedy
A romantic man proposes to his girlfriend of 7 years on a mountain, but the soon to be bride then jumps off the cliff to her death. It is a tale of revenge and justice.

LidiaNardone
Lidia Nardone 4 years ago

just joined ScriptMother!