"Let's get one thing straight... I'm a queen." I hate to tear apart someone's art like this, but the game of criticism consists of honesty. And I can honestly say that this was hard to read through. If anything this works better being on sites like FanFiction.net or Wattpad, maybe even be adapted into a DeviantArt webcomic, who knows? I guess the main question is: Who is this for? I can see the young adult dystopian angle, but the constant anthro sex and torture scenes give this story a thick layer of alienation. Look, if you're into anthro stuff, that's none of my business, whatever floats your boat. I don't judge people on those terms. But this script is meant for a very niche audience, which even on the appropriate sites would be difficult to pinpoint. Another big problem with this story is that it's extremely cliched. It checks off all the bad fanfiction tropes: - The main character is Special, a Chosen One if you will. - The main dude is made to be her lover. - The villains are purely unsympathetic and one-dimensional. - Random, awkward bits of dialogue, in which the MC tries to be cheeky or badass (refer to the quote above). - Descriptive depictions of sex. - Overuse of swear words that make the dialogue sound more immature than what it's trying to be. - Exposition in favor of more visual storytelling (this is a screenplay after all). - Flashbacks taking up half the story The world in which this screenplay takes place is confusing, to say the least. It's populated by a mixture of humans and bipedal anthropomorphic humanoids, living in a "realistic" dystopia. This wouldn't be an issue if the world was either purely fantasy or realism (at least as much realism as the world will allow). However, the writer tries to have it both ways, in which the world is set in some sort of reality, but there's still the confusing and ill-explained inclusion of magic. Every character is one-note in their own respective ways. For the sake of brevity, I'll focus on mainly our two main characters: Isabella and Khal. Isabella's arc is not unlike the main character's from Jupiter Ascending and is equally as egregious. She's a down-on-her-luck Millenial with a shitty job, pervy boss, and a merger income. That is until her life changes instantly when she's whisked away into a revolution to stop a tyrannical conglomerate (this time a government organization rather than an otherworldly monarchy), where a buff, handsome, brooding, yet sensitive lover stands by her side. She then finds out she's The Chosen One, so essentially her character is nearly flawless in every way. Her powers make her basically unstoppable. Her lover, Khal, is somehow even blander (which is ironic, seeing as how he's a great cook). He's the fantasy lover any middle-aged woman reads about in her bargain bin romance novels. He's muscular, charming, mysterious, caring, and - as aforementioned - a great cook. In conclusion, the problems in this script extend further than just the story being for a very specific audience. The storytelling is a convoluted rollercoaster of characters, plot threads, half-baked social commentary, while also being incredibly bland. There's a spark of a half-decent dystopian thing in here somewhere, unfortunately, this script resonates too much with a plethora of other stories in all the worst ways.
A young man lives alone in an empty house, currently stuck in the middle of an endless blizzard. A mysterious, yet accommodating stranger intrudes on his solitude to escape the storm, soon making his intentions known.