Denzel Robertson

Opening Credit

Reviewer Rating: | Screenplays: 10 | Reviews: 10
Enjoys:
Horror
Action
Comedy

I'm a young screenwriter who's looking to break into the film industry. I want to gain experience and grow as a writer. My main goal is to produce a feature film someday. Any feedback is appreciated

Following

Recent Activity

A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
1 month ago
feature
Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
3 months ago
PAURA short
Genre: Horror
Review Rating:
A couple spends a night in a film theater. But as the night deepens, things become nightmarish and surreal.

I like the concept a lot. I can't remember if I have seen something like it before. So, I guess it is original to me. The first few lines actually did draw me into the story about the bloodied angel curled up in the corner. Good job on that. You explained the setting very well. I'm not going to critique you on your dialogue too much since it wasn't a lot but it could be better. But everyone's dialogue can be better so don't be mad at that. The structure is well done for just three short pages. Can't really critique the development of your characters because it's a short script. I like the way you built up to the climax at the end. And I like the pacing as well. After the baby is born the line David says at the end just doesn't give me enough satisfaction with the story so maybe you could give a little bit more at the end. I liked the type of synergy the goes along with the movie and Diane being scared. I'm imagining being in that theater and not being able to tell if it's the movie that is making the noise or is it Diane. The are some grammatical and formatting errors Just like there always are. Typos and junk like that. Just give it a once over and I’m sure you will be fine. Maybe rewrite a couple of things and that is it. When reading short scripts are hard to critique because there's not much to go off of but overall the script doesn’t read to bad. Although I feel like if you want to keep it as a short story I’d say don’t expand on it to much but I think three or four more pages added to this would be great. There is some exposition and context I feel needs to be added to the story and it would be great for your audience to know what’s going on. I did have plenty of questions after reading this. Is David like the devil or something? Is Diane a fallen angel. Is she about to give birth? What do the worms mean? Other than that, I thought it was a dope short story. I would like to see what you do in the future with it. If you want some to read it again feel free to contact me. Good luck.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
3 months ago
PAURA short
Genre: Horror
A couple spends a night in a film theater. But as the night deepens, things become nightmarish and surreal.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
4 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
5 months ago
MAT short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review Rating:
In a factory of teddy bears one is different. That difference may save them all.

This script is truly interesting and engaging to the reader. It iss structure is very well done. It is exposition heavy which makes it a little tedious to read but nonetheless it is very well done. Even with the little dialouge I was able to understand what the bears were doing in the story itself. With that I think you could describe the environment more, like the factory and the hospital. The storyline is quite intriguing and unique. I would like a little more back story on how MAT ended up in the factory and what the doctor did to MAT exactly and why. Or just explain to us who the doctor is why is he creating MAT. I’m getting a Sonny from I, Robot kind of vibe with this. Like MAT is the chosen one or something. Maybe you can give the doctor more dialogue as well. Is MAT and acronym for something? Why does MAT need to free the bears? Is it because it is burning down? Those are just a few questions that I have. Who is this script catered to as well? I see teddy bears and automatically think animation and children but the fact that there are zombie teddy bears with missing limbs running around an abandoned factory has me wondering. Also, you can get rid of the stuff like slow motion and flashbacks. That’s the kinds of stuff directors or editors need to worry about. Overall: The pacing is good. MAT rushing to press the button creates urgency. Protagonist is well done . All scenes are described great. Just add the environment. The concept is great. I would love for you to see it expanded more on the parts that I mentioned The script certainly started well. It hooked me in right away Not much dialogue. would like to see more if you expanded. The action/description is nice. The protagonists are interesting. Susanne and Gary are very interesting. Like I wish to know anything about them. The climax is big cliffhanger. Which makes me want more. I would like to see the world outside the factory after they were freed. I would love to see this as a short animation. I think this would play out well in an adaptation. Thank you. I would definitely like to see where you take this and I would gladly read it again. Good luck and great work.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
MAT short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
In a factory of teddy bears one is different. That difference may save them all.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
5 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
5 months ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller
Review Rating:
A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.

I love the description of the scenes. You described them vividly enough that I could picture them inside my head. There are somethings that don't make any sense to me though. We get that Jane is on the run from here abusive husband and she stops in a hotel. She wanders and finds a dead body that she had nothing to do with. Why is she trying to cover it up like she's the one that killed her? Why is she faking like she is just the receptionist? I think it would be more believable if she just simply ran or tried to call 911. I don't think realistically anyone in that situation would do that. Also after the murder left why did Jane move the body a second time? Its just a lot of things I dont think someone in that situation would do. I don't Know if its because Jane just murdered her husband and its scared of being caught on that and she's just nervous or is it something else. Another thing is that the Mr. Harrington character really didn't add anything to the story. You could've left him out or gave him something that made his character somewhat important. The twist and the end was wonderful though. Although it really made me think was Jane really in an abusive relationship and the husband just did something that was the final straw and caused her to snap. Is she psychotic or does she have another mental disorder. She really just inserted herself in this situation that had nothing to do with her and she just murders this man out of nowhere. The pacing is good. Creates urgency. Protagonist is good. I liked Jane. All scenes are well written as it can be. The concept is great. I would love for you to see it expanded more. The dialogue is good but could be better even though its not much. Every script is like that though. The action/description is nice. They way you built up to the end was great. I honestly thought once the murderer left that was going to be it but once the murder decided to turn around I started wondering what was going to happen next. The climax is great. I would love to see this on screen as a short. I think this would play out well in an adaptation. Thank you. Great work.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller
A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
5 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.

Screenplays

Moving Day
Feature

Draft #2 | Genre: Thriller,Horror
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
Rating is only available to members
2 months ago | reviews | 96 pages
SHOW MORE

Jameson Program
Feature

Draft #4 | Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Rating is only available to members
3 months ago | 1 reviews | 102 pages
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Rating is only available to members
9 months ago | 9 reviews | 36 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 3 reviews | 7 pages
SHOW MORE

Unholy Union
Short

Rating is only available to members
6 months ago | 2 reviews | 12 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 7 reviews | 6 pages

The homies
Short

Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 14 reviews | 10 pages
Rating is only available to members
11 months ago | 1 reviews | 8 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 12 reviews | 10 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 4 reviews | 10 pages

MAT
Short

Rating is only available to members
11 months ago | 3 reviews | 5 pages

PAURA
Short

Genre: Horror
The Angel of Death
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 19 reviews | 3 pages
SHOW MORE

Denzel Robertson

Opening Credit

Reviewer Rating: | Screenplays: 10 | Reviews: 10
Enjoys:
Horror
Action
Comedy

I'm a young screenwriter who's looking to break into the film industry. I want to gain experience and grow as a writer. My main goal is to produce a feature film someday. Any feedback is appreciated

Following

Screenplays

Moving Day
Feature

Draft #2 | Genre: Thriller,Horror
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
Rating is only available to members
2 months ago | reviews | 96 pages
SHOW MORE

Jameson Program
Feature

Draft #4 | Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Rating is only available to members
3 months ago | 1 reviews | 102 pages
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Rating is only available to members
9 months ago | 9 reviews | 36 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 3 reviews | 7 pages
SHOW MORE

Unholy Union
Short

Rating is only available to members
6 months ago | 2 reviews | 12 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 7 reviews | 6 pages

The homies
Short

Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 14 reviews | 10 pages
Rating is only available to members
11 months ago | 1 reviews | 8 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 12 reviews | 10 pages
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 4 reviews | 10 pages

MAT
Short

Rating is only available to members
11 months ago | 3 reviews | 5 pages

PAURA
Short

Genre: Horror
The Angel of Death
Rating is only available to members
1 year ago | 19 reviews | 3 pages
SHOW MORE

Recent Activity

A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
1 month ago
feature
Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
3 months ago
PAURA short
Genre: Horror
Review Rating:
A couple spends a night in a film theater. But as the night deepens, things become nightmarish and surreal.

I like the concept a lot. I can't remember if I have seen something like it before. So, I guess it is original to me. The first few lines actually did draw me into the story about the bloodied angel curled up in the corner. Good job on that. You explained the setting very well. I'm not going to critique you on your dialogue too much since it wasn't a lot but it could be better. But everyone's dialogue can be better so don't be mad at that. The structure is well done for just three short pages. Can't really critique the development of your characters because it's a short script. I like the way you built up to the climax at the end. And I like the pacing as well. After the baby is born the line David says at the end just doesn't give me enough satisfaction with the story so maybe you could give a little bit more at the end. I liked the type of synergy the goes along with the movie and Diane being scared. I'm imagining being in that theater and not being able to tell if it's the movie that is making the noise or is it Diane. The are some grammatical and formatting errors Just like there always are. Typos and junk like that. Just give it a once over and I’m sure you will be fine. Maybe rewrite a couple of things and that is it. When reading short scripts are hard to critique because there's not much to go off of but overall the script doesn’t read to bad. Although I feel like if you want to keep it as a short story I’d say don’t expand on it to much but I think three or four more pages added to this would be great. There is some exposition and context I feel needs to be added to the story and it would be great for your audience to know what’s going on. I did have plenty of questions after reading this. Is David like the devil or something? Is Diane a fallen angel. Is she about to give birth? What do the worms mean? Other than that, I thought it was a dope short story. I would like to see what you do in the future with it. If you want some to read it again feel free to contact me. Good luck.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
3 months ago
PAURA short
Genre: Horror
A couple spends a night in a film theater. But as the night deepens, things become nightmarish and surreal.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
4 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
5 months ago
MAT short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Review Rating:
In a factory of teddy bears one is different. That difference may save them all.

This script is truly interesting and engaging to the reader. It iss structure is very well done. It is exposition heavy which makes it a little tedious to read but nonetheless it is very well done. Even with the little dialouge I was able to understand what the bears were doing in the story itself. With that I think you could describe the environment more, like the factory and the hospital. The storyline is quite intriguing and unique. I would like a little more back story on how MAT ended up in the factory and what the doctor did to MAT exactly and why. Or just explain to us who the doctor is why is he creating MAT. I’m getting a Sonny from I, Robot kind of vibe with this. Like MAT is the chosen one or something. Maybe you can give the doctor more dialogue as well. Is MAT and acronym for something? Why does MAT need to free the bears? Is it because it is burning down? Those are just a few questions that I have. Who is this script catered to as well? I see teddy bears and automatically think animation and children but the fact that there are zombie teddy bears with missing limbs running around an abandoned factory has me wondering. Also, you can get rid of the stuff like slow motion and flashbacks. That’s the kinds of stuff directors or editors need to worry about. Overall: The pacing is good. MAT rushing to press the button creates urgency. Protagonist is well done . All scenes are described great. Just add the environment. The concept is great. I would love for you to see it expanded more on the parts that I mentioned The script certainly started well. It hooked me in right away Not much dialogue. would like to see more if you expanded. The action/description is nice. The protagonists are interesting. Susanne and Gary are very interesting. Like I wish to know anything about them. The climax is big cliffhanger. Which makes me want more. I would like to see the world outside the factory after they were freed. I would love to see this as a short animation. I think this would play out well in an adaptation. Thank you. I would definitely like to see where you take this and I would gladly read it again. Good luck and great work.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
MAT short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy
In a factory of teddy bears one is different. That difference may save them all.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
5 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy
Needing to pay his uncles medical bills Casey Swift risk his relationship buy working for the man his girlfriend hates the most.
Denzel Robertson completed a review for
5 months ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller
Review Rating:
A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.

I love the description of the scenes. You described them vividly enough that I could picture them inside my head. There are somethings that don't make any sense to me though. We get that Jane is on the run from here abusive husband and she stops in a hotel. She wanders and finds a dead body that she had nothing to do with. Why is she trying to cover it up like she's the one that killed her? Why is she faking like she is just the receptionist? I think it would be more believable if she just simply ran or tried to call 911. I don't think realistically anyone in that situation would do that. Also after the murder left why did Jane move the body a second time? Its just a lot of things I dont think someone in that situation would do. I don't Know if its because Jane just murdered her husband and its scared of being caught on that and she's just nervous or is it something else. Another thing is that the Mr. Harrington character really didn't add anything to the story. You could've left him out or gave him something that made his character somewhat important. The twist and the end was wonderful though. Although it really made me think was Jane really in an abusive relationship and the husband just did something that was the final straw and caused her to snap. Is she psychotic or does she have another mental disorder. She really just inserted herself in this situation that had nothing to do with her and she just murders this man out of nowhere. The pacing is good. Creates urgency. Protagonist is good. I liked Jane. All scenes are well written as it can be. The concept is great. I would love for you to see it expanded more. The dialogue is good but could be better even though its not much. Every script is like that though. The action/description is nice. They way you built up to the end was great. I honestly thought once the murderer left that was going to be it but once the murder decided to turn around I started wondering what was going to happen next. The climax is great. I would love to see this on screen as a short. I think this would play out well in an adaptation. Thank you. Great work.

Denzel Robertson just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller
A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
5 months ago
feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.