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Calvin Melloh

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Scripts: 1
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Calvin Melloh completed a review for
1 year ago
The Importance of Clowning Around short
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:

This was overall a very strong and appealing script. The simplicity of the story, having two sole characters with the main setting being outdoor streets, just emphasizes how strong their dialogue is. Implied intentions of both characters are made known quickly, as are the main personality traits of the two. Lubu is a bit more indifferent and annoyed, while Sammy is eager and chatty. This pair of character traits work very well together. The development of the characters throughout the ten-page script was good. There was a bit of background information provided for both of them, but a bit more would have been nice. This can be added through conversation, maybe a few more mentions of past events/relationships. Lubu as a character doesn't change an awful lot through the story, but he does warm up to Sammy and can be seen bit by bit growing to like the homeless man more, even so far as to be concerned about his wellbeing at the end. Sammy's sudden change from protagonist to antagonist is great. Here are some general notes. On page three Lubu says "No. My like I'm part of it." This was a bit confusing, though I understand what he was saying. Perhaps something more like, "No, my kid's party as in my job today" or something along those lines would help with clarity. On page five when Lubu says "the bus", this line comes a bit after the initial discussion of how he got there, so some clarification is needed here as well. Maybe a line like "I took the bus here." Just something to remind the audience what he's talking about. The sudden change form Sammy throwing rocks to Sammy falling on the ground can be exemplified from the use of the word "suddenly" somewhere in there, or a similar word to show that something has changed, there has been a change in the action. The end where Lubu is still smiling is a bit unclear. Is it the clown paint that is painted into a smile? If it is, some slight clarification would be helpful. Also, when Sammy arrives at the door in clown attire, perhaps he can ask for cash up front, just to show the audience that his primary intention was to get money, as well as food and shelter, as a homeless man with nothing. Overall it was a very strong script, impressive in dialogue and plot. The character development could go a bit further as far as background and/or mentioning of past events or relationships. Few clarity issues were present, and once these are cleared up this will be an excellent script.

Calvin Melloh just claimed a review for a script.
1 year ago
The Importance of Clowning Around short
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A clown looking for a kids birthday is harassed by a homeless man.
Calvin Melloh uploaded a script.
1 year ago
Despondents television
Genre: Comedy,Drama
Logline: Facing a slew of mental health issues, three young friends battle their demons individually and as a unit to try to stay afloat.
Calvin Melloh just joined ScriptMother!
1 year ago

Scripts

Despondents
Draft #1
Genre: Comedy,Drama
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Facing a slew of mental health issues, three young friends battle their demons individually and as a unit to try to stay afloat.

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