ScriptMother

Caleb Densman

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Favorite Genres:
I enjoy pretty much all genres.

Reviewer Rating:
Scripts: 7
Reviews: 5

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Recent Activity

Caleb Densman just purchased a review. Claim it here
1 month ago
The Comet short
Genre: Drama
Logline: Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.
Caleb Densman completed a review for
1 month ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller,Horror,Drama
Review Rating:

Overall I think this is a strong script, the biggest issue I have is that the premise is "Psycho" verbatum, I would recommend maybe actually having Jane be starting her first day at the job, and planning on squatting in the hotel maybe, because I think the on the run aspect works nicely. I took notes as I read. Page 1 The script immediately creates fantastic atmosphere and tension. Page 2 Fantastic non-verbal storytelling, Jane feels like a rich character already. I'm very intrigued by the attention to the decor. Page 3 Paranthetical should be underneath the character. I always break up my action blocks, keeping them to 1-3 lines makes them much easier to digest. The use of sound when she is looking at the beach painting is fantastic. Page 4 Jane in the bank should be an entirely new scene with an entirely new slugline. page 5 Parantheticals should rest on their own line above the dialogue, and below the character. I'm not sure why she is hiding the body, give a reason why she wouldn't just call the police. Page 6 Specify who is touching her face and hair. The old man is a really intriguing character. The dialogue works well enough, nothing too flashy. Page 7 Another overlong action block. The use of memory triggers is fantastic. Page 8 The man revealing himself is handled really well. Page 9 The dialogue works really well here. Page 11 Jack is a very well written and intimidating antagonist Page 12 The split screen flashback and the last line especially feel very heavy handed, tone it back a little. Also try and explain a little more about what Jack is doing at the hotel, is he just a mugger or is he Norman Bates

Caleb Densman just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
When The Bell Jangles short
Genre: Thriller,Horror,Drama
Logline: A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.
Caleb Densman just purchased a review. Claim it here
1 month ago
The Comet short
Genre: Drama
Logline: Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.
Caleb Densman just purchased a review. Claim it here
1 month ago
The Comet short
Genre: Drama
Logline: Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.
Caleb Densman uploaded a script.
1 month ago
The Comet short
Genre: Drama
Logline: Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.
Caleb Densman just claimed a review for a script.
1 month ago
Reverse Psychology short
Genre: Comedy
Logline: A foul-mouthed marriage counselor uses unorthodox methods to help fix a couple's turbulent relationship.
Caleb Densman just purchased a review. Claim it here
3 months ago
The Dukes of 1010 short
Genre: Comedy,Crime
Logline: 3 freinds, one who's fed up with an awful boss, one who wants to get the girl, and one with nothing better to do take matters into their own hands
Caleb Densman just claimed a review for a script.
9 months ago
The Salesman (Working Title) short
Genre: Mystery/Suspense,Horror
Logline: A young man lives alone in an empty house, currently stuck in the middle of an endless blizzard. A mysterious, yet accommodating stranger intrudes on his solitude to escape the storm, soon making his intentions known.

Scripts

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Two Highschool students grapple with the losses they face following an immense tragedy.

Inheritance
Draft #4
Genre: Mystery/Suspense,Thriller
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A teenager who has struggled with powerlessness his whole life receives an inheritance that changes everything

The Dukes of 1010
Draft #1
Genre: Comedy,Crime
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3 freinds, one who's fed up with an awful boss, one who wants to get the girl, and one with nothing better to do take matters into their own hands

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The Comet
Draft #1
Genre: Drama
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Ben comes to the Fast Lane bowling alley everyday after school, partly because he idolizes amateur bowler, Jenny "The Comet" Cornell, and partly to escape some dark past.

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