Olusola Oladesu

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 3
Reviews: 3
Enjoys:

Short Bio

An African man who wants to explore different worlds and meet diverse people.

Recent Activity

A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
4 months ago
feature
Genre: Drama
A religious lady visits her fiance's hometown to meet his people. There are terrible consequences.
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Mister short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:
... She gets ready for Mister.

You have your way with words to make solid descriptions and you seem to be skillful in the art of the writing itself. I fear I can't say the same about the concept. This is one of those situations where execution is slightly above concept and in the end, we know there is nothing much going on. No story. No stakes. Characters are generic. Poor concept. Or this is just an excerpt of a feature length script. That doesn't make it a short film script.

5 months ago
10 reviews
2 pages
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Save the Girl short
Genre: Horror
Review Rating:
The spirit of a murdered girl, angry at a Detective’s failure to bring her killer to justice, holds the man’s wife hostage in an attempt to force him to exact her revenge on the killer, while he must find a way to save his wife without losing his own soul.

First, I have to commend the ending. It actually generated some emotion in me. You exactly knew where to stop. And your descriptions were apt and dialogue was okay overall. I had issue with the title, first and foremost. 'Save the girl' works for me along the line of a murder mystery of a girl that needs to be saved, not a mystery drama turned horror. And then, I realized maybe the girl that needed to be saved here is Megan, not the murdered girl whose ghost that later turned to become the villain, not the victim of the story. But the logic of the story is questionable. Why can't the ghost of the murdered girl just go after her killers instead of disturbing the wife of the policeman investigating her case? Or can't it just go after Sam himself and hunt his nightmares? The concept is very questionable and I don't see this making a great feature length except the whole thing is revamped. Also for a horror, I didn't feel scared actually (felt more like a thriller) and the major part that thrilled me was the ending and of course, when Megan finally went to the house. I think this needs a heavy rewrite but amidst the cracks, I can see the talent of the writer. As a writer, you are on the line that straddles between 'Pass' and 'Consider' (I know I gave a pass after some thoughts).

4 months ago
3 reviews
17 pages
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Family
Review Rating:
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.

First, the concept was good but the execution was not done that well (does not mean you don't write well). I didn't get the sense of the title (Blind Ambition) from what I just read. I mean, he was actually at a class when the contractions of Rebecca started. He was kinda at a place he was meant to be. So, it wasn't convincing that he was more work-focused which resulted in missing an important family moment. In short, the stakes were never high and the reason behind the few stakes not entirely convincing. Also, the ending wasn't a good pay-off for me but oh well. The dialogue was good in many areas but I have suggestions for some lines just to make it more realistic. Like the line Rebecca said: "Do you mean C-section?". That just sounded like Rebecca speaking on behalf of the reader. For someone in great labour pains, she could have just said: "C-section?". I know it sounds minute but these small changes make the dialogue more realistic and less expository. Also the line by Timothy: "She is so precious". Hmm...I felt "She is so beautiful" would have just worked better, no matter how cliche it sounds. Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the most important. All the same, good effort and your use of description is apt and solid. I have to commend you on that. Your best is yet to come.

4 months ago
2 reviews
4 pages
Olusola Oladesu just claimed a review for a short script
4 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
4 months ago
2 reviews
4 pages
Olusola Oladesu uploaded a feature screenplay
4 months ago
VILLAGE BOI feature
Genre: Drama
A religious lady visits her fiance's hometown to meet his people. There are ominous consequences.
4 months ago
reviews
71 pages
Olusola Oladesu just joined ScriptMother!
4 months ago

Screenplays

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Reviews

Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 2 reviews | 4 pages
Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 3 reviews | 17 pages
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Mister
Short

Rating is only available to members
5 months ago | 10 reviews | 2 pages
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Olusola Oladesu

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 3
Reviews: 3
Enjoys:

Short Bio

An African man who wants to explore different worlds and meet diverse people.

Screenplays

SHOW MORE

VILLAGE BOI
Feature

Draft #3 | Genre: Drama
A religious lady visits her fiance's hometown to meet his people. There are terrible consequences.
Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | reviews | 71 pages
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 2 reviews | 4 pages
Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 3 reviews | 17 pages
SHOW MORE
Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 2 reviews | 4 pages
Rating is only available to members
4 months ago | 3 reviews | 17 pages
SHOW MORE

Recent Activity

A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
4 months ago
feature
Genre: Drama
A religious lady visits her fiance's hometown to meet his people. There are terrible consequences.
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Mister short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:
... She gets ready for Mister.

You have your way with words to make solid descriptions and you seem to be skillful in the art of the writing itself. I fear I can't say the same about the concept. This is one of those situations where execution is slightly above concept and in the end, we know there is nothing much going on. No story. No stakes. Characters are generic. Poor concept. Or this is just an excerpt of a feature length script. That doesn't make it a short film script.

5 months ago
10 reviews
2 pages
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Save the Girl short
Genre: Horror
Review Rating:
The spirit of a murdered girl, angry at a Detective’s failure to bring her killer to justice, holds the man’s wife hostage in an attempt to force him to exact her revenge on the killer, while he must find a way to save his wife without losing his own soul.

First, I have to commend the ending. It actually generated some emotion in me. You exactly knew where to stop. And your descriptions were apt and dialogue was okay overall. I had issue with the title, first and foremost. 'Save the girl' works for me along the line of a murder mystery of a girl that needs to be saved, not a mystery drama turned horror. And then, I realized maybe the girl that needed to be saved here is Megan, not the murdered girl whose ghost that later turned to become the villain, not the victim of the story. But the logic of the story is questionable. Why can't the ghost of the murdered girl just go after her killers instead of disturbing the wife of the policeman investigating her case? Or can't it just go after Sam himself and hunt his nightmares? The concept is very questionable and I don't see this making a great feature length except the whole thing is revamped. Also for a horror, I didn't feel scared actually (felt more like a thriller) and the major part that thrilled me was the ending and of course, when Megan finally went to the house. I think this needs a heavy rewrite but amidst the cracks, I can see the talent of the writer. As a writer, you are on the line that straddles between 'Pass' and 'Consider' (I know I gave a pass after some thoughts).

4 months ago
3 reviews
17 pages
Olusola Oladesu completed a review for
4 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Family
Review Rating:
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.

First, the concept was good but the execution was not done that well (does not mean you don't write well). I didn't get the sense of the title (Blind Ambition) from what I just read. I mean, he was actually at a class when the contractions of Rebecca started. He was kinda at a place he was meant to be. So, it wasn't convincing that he was more work-focused which resulted in missing an important family moment. In short, the stakes were never high and the reason behind the few stakes not entirely convincing. Also, the ending wasn't a good pay-off for me but oh well. The dialogue was good in many areas but I have suggestions for some lines just to make it more realistic. Like the line Rebecca said: "Do you mean C-section?". That just sounded like Rebecca speaking on behalf of the reader. For someone in great labour pains, she could have just said: "C-section?". I know it sounds minute but these small changes make the dialogue more realistic and less expository. Also the line by Timothy: "She is so precious". Hmm...I felt "She is so beautiful" would have just worked better, no matter how cliche it sounds. Sometimes, the simplest ideas are the most important. All the same, good effort and your use of description is apt and solid. I have to commend you on that. Your best is yet to come.

4 months ago
2 reviews
4 pages
Olusola Oladesu just claimed a review for a short script
4 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
4 months ago
2 reviews
4 pages
Olusola Oladesu uploaded a feature screenplay
4 months ago
VILLAGE BOI feature
Genre: Drama
A religious lady visits her fiance's hometown to meet his people. There are ominous consequences.
4 months ago
reviews
71 pages
Olusola Oladesu just joined ScriptMother!
4 months ago