Renee Brown

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 4
Reviews: 6
Enjoys:

Short Bio

Nothing here.

Recent Activity

Renee Brown completed a review for
5 months ago
Bop short
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:
A washed-up boxing trainer finds new hope in an unlikely protege: An inflatable bop clown.

I think its a funny skit. It would work great for a YouTube skit but not as a show or movie. The dialogue needs a little work. Also the formatting made it difficult to read. Some of the dialogue not labeled, action lines run into the dialogue etc. You also had some spelling and grammar issues.

5 months ago
2 reviews
16 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Bop short
Genre: Comedy
A washed-up boxing trainer finds new hope in an unlikely protege: An inflatable bop clown.
5 months ago
2 reviews
16 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
6 months ago
short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
Renee Brown completed a review for
7 months ago
Coach Murphy tv series
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:
A football experienced woman goes on a journey of self discovery and destiny when as a publicity stunt she becomes the first Female head coach in the NFL, but when she proves to be the better person for the job the Male dominated league pushes back.

I think its a great concept. I would watch the show. I think some of the dialogue is a little too long and wordy. Usually, when it comes to comedy it works better in shorter dialogue. The introductions dialogue seems rushed and unnatural. If this is supposed to be a T.V. series then it should be more action than dialogue. It seems you are telling most of the story through dialogue. For example, Your montage with the newspaper clip needs to have shorter titles. Newspaper title is short, sweet and straight to the point. For example, "Local Pop Warner Coach Tod Palmer dies in a car crash. Tod is survived by his wife Lori Palmer and young daughter Christine Palmer." I would spin it, "Fatal Car Accident kills local Coach" This would be more believable as a newspaper article than something long. Also in the intro dialogue, you made it clear her father was a coach and died. You don't have much action in this T.V. series just a lot of long unnatural dialogue. This would work if it was stage play but something that is going to be on T.V. you need to tell the story through vision instead of dialogue. Shorten your dialogue and use more action to tell your story. Also, I don't get Joey, Jamal line. Are Ian friends with Joey or Frienemy or Bully? The long dialogue with the reporter isn't very convincing when you go on a long rant on live t.v., 9 times out of 10 the reporter is going to try to interrupt the person talking because she probably has a producer screaming in her ear about time.

9 months ago
2 reviews
34 pages
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.

Screenplays

Change will come
TV Series

Draft #1 | Genre: Drama
An impulsive, angry, jungle writer finds himself in trouble with the law after multiple bar fights and riots. He is forced to mentor a troubled gang banger, drug dealing youth with a singing voice of pure gold.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 2 reviews | 43 pages
Draft #3 | Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 3 reviews | 9 pages
SHOW MORE
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Mister
Short

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 12 reviews | 2 pages

The Hobo (Draft 2)
TV Series

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 6 reviews | 25 pages
SHOW MORE

77 lives
Short

Rating is only available to members
10 months ago | 6 reviews | 24 pages

PAURA
Short

Rating is only available to members
9 months ago | 14 reviews | 3 pages

Coach Murphy
TV Series

Rating is only available to members
9 months ago | 2 reviews | 34 pages

Bop
Short

Rating is only available to members
5 months ago | 2 reviews | 16 pages
SHOW MORE

Renee Brown

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 4
Reviews: 6
Enjoys:

Short Bio

Nothing here.

Screenplays

Change will come
TV Series

Draft #1 | Genre: Drama
An impulsive, angry, jungle writer finds himself in trouble with the law after multiple bar fights and riots. He is forced to mentor a troubled gang banger, drug dealing youth with a singing voice of pure gold.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 2 reviews | 43 pages
Draft #3 | Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 3 reviews | 9 pages
SHOW MORE

Change will come
TV Series

Draft #1 | Genre: Drama
An impulsive, angry, jungle writer finds himself in trouble with the law after multiple bar fights and riots. He is forced to mentor a troubled gang banger, drug dealing youth with a singing voice of pure gold.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 2 reviews | 43 pages
Draft #3 | Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
Rating is only available to members
7 months ago | 3 reviews | 9 pages
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Mister
Short

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 12 reviews | 2 pages

The Hobo (Draft 2)
TV Series

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 6 reviews | 25 pages
SHOW MORE

Mister
Short

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 12 reviews | 2 pages

The Hobo (Draft 2)
TV Series

Rating is only available to members
8 months ago | 6 reviews | 25 pages
SHOW MORE

Recent Activity

Renee Brown completed a review for
5 months ago
Bop short
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:
A washed-up boxing trainer finds new hope in an unlikely protege: An inflatable bop clown.

I think its a funny skit. It would work great for a YouTube skit but not as a show or movie. The dialogue needs a little work. Also the formatting made it difficult to read. Some of the dialogue not labeled, action lines run into the dialogue etc. You also had some spelling and grammar issues.

5 months ago
2 reviews
16 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Bop short
Genre: Comedy
A washed-up boxing trainer finds new hope in an unlikely protege: An inflatable bop clown.
5 months ago
2 reviews
16 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
Renee Brown just claimed a review for a short script
6 months ago
Blind Ambition short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
7 months ago
3 reviews
9 pages
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
6 months ago
short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Drama
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
Renee Brown completed a review for
7 months ago
Coach Murphy tv series
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:
A football experienced woman goes on a journey of self discovery and destiny when as a publicity stunt she becomes the first Female head coach in the NFL, but when she proves to be the better person for the job the Male dominated league pushes back.

I think its a great concept. I would watch the show. I think some of the dialogue is a little too long and wordy. Usually, when it comes to comedy it works better in shorter dialogue. The introductions dialogue seems rushed and unnatural. If this is supposed to be a T.V. series then it should be more action than dialogue. It seems you are telling most of the story through dialogue. For example, Your montage with the newspaper clip needs to have shorter titles. Newspaper title is short, sweet and straight to the point. For example, "Local Pop Warner Coach Tod Palmer dies in a car crash. Tod is survived by his wife Lori Palmer and young daughter Christine Palmer." I would spin it, "Fatal Car Accident kills local Coach" This would be more believable as a newspaper article than something long. Also in the intro dialogue, you made it clear her father was a coach and died. You don't have much action in this T.V. series just a lot of long unnatural dialogue. This would work if it was stage play but something that is going to be on T.V. you need to tell the story through vision instead of dialogue. Shorten your dialogue and use more action to tell your story. Also, I don't get Joey, Jamal line. Are Ian friends with Joey or Frienemy or Bully? The long dialogue with the reporter isn't very convincing when you go on a long rant on live t.v., 9 times out of 10 the reporter is going to try to interrupt the person talking because she probably has a producer screaming in her ear about time.

9 months ago
2 reviews
34 pages
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
7 months ago
short
Genre: Family
A pregnant woman in is giving birth and her husband in hot pursuit to the hospital.