Ike Rayford

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 0
Reviews: 1

Short Bio

Nothing here.

Recent Activity

Ike Rayford completed a review for
5 months ago
Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:
After losing the only love of her life, a transgender loses all hope of finding love again and kills herself.

The script in my opinion should have italics for instructions and font or type sizes for dialogue. It was hard to follow in some instances because I was trying to read the instructions but thought I was in the dialogue. I believe the transitions could be better especially if you are going from a room to a hospital delivery room. Some grammatical errors that can be cleaned up and smooth out some of the dialogue can make a great story. In the hospital room you start out being redundant...if you say a woman is in labor, then we pretty much can assume its child birth. Father whispering to his wife should be dialogue which would give the story some depth in the beginning. Baby is wrapped. I love the idea of Victor/Victoria voicing the early part over but I think it you should play with it starting out as one or the other and then going back and forth. When he is a boy he should be Victor. When sitting in the house at age 7 Victoria talks about her parents loving her... where did that come from? Why? The Doctors dialogue can be cleaned up a little, a little better flow. The dialogue with Mother and Father is good, love it, truly felt it! When Victor is listening and recalling it...what are you showing? Mother was great like most mothers are...have you thought about switching the roles...because you know dads love their girls! Just a thought for you. Victoria in a suit...Victoria being a reporter on the street came out of no where again this is where maybe a transition can be helpful. When Victoria meets Samantha it got very interesting and the story took feet and begin to walk on its on. Getting to this point is the hard work. Check you grammar, make sure the tenses are the same eat/eats, ate. Try to also remove some of the extra words out whether they are instructions/directions or dialogue. I think I would like to see less V.O. but I am not sure about it, maybe lessen it a little. Trousers are plural The rest of the story is good with a few grammatical errors...so check that out.

5 months ago
5 reviews
23 pages
Ike Rayford just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
After losing the only love of her life, a transgender loses all hope of finding love again and kills herself.
5 months ago
5 reviews
23 pages
Ike Rayford just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Lily short
Genre: Drama
A young woman finds out that the biological father she's never known is terminally ill. One of his final requests is to see her before he passes.
6 months ago
2 reviews
11 pages
Ike Rayford just joined ScriptMother!
7 months ago

Screenplays

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Reviews

Rating is only available to members
5 months ago | 5 reviews | 23 pages
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Ike Rayford

Aspiring Screenwriter

Reviewer Rating:
Screenplays: 0
Reviews: 1

Short Bio

Nothing here.

Screenplays

No screenplays have been uploaded. Add a screenplay.

SHOW MORE
SHOW MORE

Reviews

Rating is only available to members
5 months ago | 5 reviews | 23 pages
SHOW MORE
Rating is only available to members
5 months ago | 5 reviews | 23 pages
SHOW MORE

Recent Activity

Ike Rayford completed a review for
5 months ago
Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
Review Rating:
After losing the only love of her life, a transgender loses all hope of finding love again and kills herself.

The script in my opinion should have italics for instructions and font or type sizes for dialogue. It was hard to follow in some instances because I was trying to read the instructions but thought I was in the dialogue. I believe the transitions could be better especially if you are going from a room to a hospital delivery room. Some grammatical errors that can be cleaned up and smooth out some of the dialogue can make a great story. In the hospital room you start out being redundant...if you say a woman is in labor, then we pretty much can assume its child birth. Father whispering to his wife should be dialogue which would give the story some depth in the beginning. Baby is wrapped. I love the idea of Victor/Victoria voicing the early part over but I think it you should play with it starting out as one or the other and then going back and forth. When he is a boy he should be Victor. When sitting in the house at age 7 Victoria talks about her parents loving her... where did that come from? Why? The Doctors dialogue can be cleaned up a little, a little better flow. The dialogue with Mother and Father is good, love it, truly felt it! When Victor is listening and recalling it...what are you showing? Mother was great like most mothers are...have you thought about switching the roles...because you know dads love their girls! Just a thought for you. Victoria in a suit...Victoria being a reporter on the street came out of no where again this is where maybe a transition can be helpful. When Victoria meets Samantha it got very interesting and the story took feet and begin to walk on its on. Getting to this point is the hard work. Check you grammar, make sure the tenses are the same eat/eats, ate. Try to also remove some of the extra words out whether they are instructions/directions or dialogue. I think I would like to see less V.O. but I am not sure about it, maybe lessen it a little. Trousers are plural The rest of the story is good with a few grammatical errors...so check that out.

5 months ago
5 reviews
23 pages
Ike Rayford just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Identity crisis short
Genre: Drama
After losing the only love of her life, a transgender loses all hope of finding love again and kills herself.
5 months ago
5 reviews
23 pages
Ike Rayford just claimed a review for a short script
5 months ago
Lily short
Genre: Drama
A young woman finds out that the biological father she's never known is terminally ill. One of his final requests is to see her before he passes.
6 months ago
2 reviews
11 pages
Ike Rayford just joined ScriptMother!
7 months ago