Joined: 2 weeks ago
Favorite Genres: Clever Dramas
Logline: A sheriff lost in grief from her husband’s death doesn’t see the danger when a man wielding Excalibur arrives in town to protect her son from his enemies.
The movie opens with a bedroom scene between a husband and wife who are both police officers (though not obvious). He gets a call in the middle of the night and leaves to handle it. Later we learn he was killed that night and the wife is still grieving for her loss. Then sightings of a stranger wielding a sword don’t strike the sheriff as being out of the ordinary. When the man is brought in his answers seem the rantings of a lunatic. Until he says something at the end that triggers a possible connection to her husband’s death. She later decides to dupe her fellow officers and bring the swordsman to the forest where her husband was killed. Suddenly knights show up and attacks the swordsman and the sheriff, she is injured and the swordsman kills one knight. She wakes up in the hospital with broken ribs but realizes that she needs to find the swordsman again. Miraculously she gets out of bed and seeks him out. She finds him and after finding out more about his “problem” he says he need to protect her son from those knights. Sorry if I am not remembering the story fully. Eventually he comes for Jake and for some reason does not break the pantry door to reach Jakes but leaves. And walks down the road. Eventually it is revealed that he wants to take Jake away, that he is heir of Excalibur, and that Andy cannot be a part of his life for some reason. Andy seeks out Jake and takes him aimlessly into a forest where the knights are waiting and take him to a cave. The BK shows up and handcuffs the sheriff and proceeds to the cave. There is a fight and the BK kills all the knights and drags Jake away against his and his mother’s will. But Excalibur speaks to Jake and spurs him to action against the BK who is so focused on Jake that he forgets his mother is nearby and is killed by her. The town deals with numerous deaths but Julian and Andy are finally together. Jake rejects his fate and throws the sword into the sea only to have the Lady of the Lake bring it back to him. The End.
Logline: What if Romeo and Juliet’s fathers were superheroes?
A super-villain Khaos and vigilante Ray have years of battling each other and then one day go too far and end up crippling each other. Both have children they expect to step into their shoes, but both struggle to meet that expectation as their families interfere with that choice. Both have asthma which could have comedic effect. The children grow up and struggle as adults. The vigilante’s daughter Sallie becomes a zealous detective because… her father broke her jaw sparing one day. It’s not clear why she chose law enforcement over her father’s wishes as they have a close relationship into adulthood. The super-villain’s son Victor struggle’s with his father’s alcoholism and doesn’t have the evilness that his father does, yet still tries to please him. After enacting his first act of violence against society it turns out the son cannot live up to his father’s expectations. Meanwhile the vigilante, who has become wheelchair bound, has been monitoring a citywide security system (paid for by him?) and senses that something is brewing and encourages his daughter to finally become the vigilante he dreamed she would be. She accepts it and thus sets up the important meeting/confrontation with the villain’s son. They commiserate and fall in love quickly as well as quickly decide to deceive their father’s plans for them. A reporter has a crush on Sallie and decides to go along with the deception until he finds out she is in love with Victor. That changes him into a manipulator which will play out in the climax. Ray has a caretaker Betty who seems simple and dedicated to her job and Ray. Sallie’s partner Larry has poor hygiene but is called a genius by the captain who plays the standard gruff role seen in these movies. Both Khaos and Ray have been reviewing easily accessible video of the crimes and learn their children have been deceiving them. Khaos decides to rise again and change the final battle that Victor and Sallie have planned. Ray is about to do the same when Betty poison’s him but luckily Larry was across the street and takes him to a hospital. The planned final battle is thwarted when everyone shows up, except Ray, and reveals their interest in the couple. People are betrayed and die, Sallie is injured and ultimately Victor is put in jail. But his father shows up at the police station and says he will admit to past crimes in exchange for Victor’s release. Sallie and Ray are in the hospital and Ray tells his wife that he was wrong to make Sallie a vigilante. Because of Larry’s genius scheming Sallie is praised for her police work. Victor is released from jail and reunites with Sallie and they have a big family dinner. The last scene shows Betty has been sequestered and is still alive.
Logline: Can delusions make sense? A artist struggles with reality in a quest to be married but ends up learning he has a mental disorder.
An artist loses his understanding of reality while desiring to be married to a friend he knows. His daily experiences going inside his mind and outside his reality are experienced by his friends and family in this personal tale. After causing vandalism he makes a connection with people in another reality while in jail, causing him to question his sanity. After many days of disturbing behavior he is sent to a mental institution and diagnosed Bipolar and Schizoaffective and then released to his parents. The end.
Logline: A law enforcer must go on the run after he is betrayed by his government to cover up a plan to destroy Earth so it can be repurposed.
Able Kane just wants to do his job as a Bounty Cop, and be left alone, but when a new assignment thrusts him and his partner Kip Kipling into a dangerous plot, their lives and the fate of the whole planet is at stake. ABLE KANE, 40+ and well built has a simple life; go to work, go home, eat, sleep and repeat. But one day, he and his partner, ROBERT “KIP” KIPLING, 30+, lean, pale and ethereal, are recruited by the Chief Judicial Enforcer, EVE JOHNSON, 50+, deceptively feminine but hard looking, recruits them for an important assignment; an old moon base missile facility has become activated and they need an old fashioned key to turn it off. The only person who still has such keys is an old collector, who keeps a low profile by living amongst the workforce on Earth. They are assigned a tracker, CHARLI CAMERON, 20+, pretty in a lush way, despite Able’s reluctance, they take her along. After locating the collector, the assignment goes south and they are being hunted by their own Judicial force. Kip is taken by the Bounty Cops and able races to rescue his friend and save the world. Able Kane is a good bounty cop, doing his job thoroughly and professionally, along with his partner Kip Kipling. They take out criminals on the dna black market with efficiency, so much so that they have gained the attention of their boss, Chief Judicial Enforcer, Eve Johnson. After a routine mission, they are called to her office, where she hands them an life or death assignment; find the man who holds the key to a moon base missile facility that has become active and use the key to turn it off. If they fail, the Earth will be bombed until no life remains. She assigns a green young tracker named Charli Cameron, which Able tries to refuse, to help locate the collector. Reluctantly they take on the mission. After a traumatic event in finding the collector, they are taken to his home by a young woman to wait for him. The woman feeds them as they wait. Meanwhile, CJE Eve Johnson has a private communication with an unrevealed contact that shows her intentions are not so benign. She has a plan that involves allowing the Earth to be bombed, so she can then have it terraformed and returned to it’s former beauty. She plans on taking control and then selling off plots to her rich off world contacts. In the morning, the collector returns and is taken captive. In the scuffle, the woman is killed by Charli and the old collector becomes submissive. Kip calls in the death of the woman and the group leave as sirens approach. As they make their way through the streets, sirens race towards them and suddenly Kip is surveying the scene while Able pulls the collector into hiding. The CJE’s private security force arrives and surrounds them, demanding they lay down their weapons and come out with the collector. After a brief fire fight with the security force, Kip is taken captive and Able escapes with Charli and the collector. After reaching a place of limited safety, the public announcement screens light up and claim Kip is a traitor. Able is forced to watch as his partner is publicly executed. Spurred by the death of his partner, Able leads the security force on a wild chase away from where he has sequestered Charli and the collector. Soon, he doubles back and then takes them to his own apartment. Over night, Charli tries to seduce Able, to distract him from her actual mission; to kill the collector and take the key to return it to Eve Johnson. Able discovers her deception and kills her, but only after the collector is dead. He takes the key, realizing that he is on his own and his only chance to save the Earth is to get the key to the missile facility, and turn off the countdown himself. Eve is entertaining guests, regaling them with her plans for the renewed Earth, when she receives word from Able has gone off grid and Charli and the collector are dead. She offers him a deal to let her finish what she started, so long as he turns himself in immediately He refuses and ends the transmission. She excuses herself and retires to her private shuttle, which she takes to the moon base. Able finds his way to the moon base, where he confronts the CJE Eve Johnson. After a brief exchange, he kills her and races to the control room with the key. He arrives, after fighting off several guards, only to find that Kip isn’t dead, but is attached to the controls in a way that moving him will either kill him or advance the countdown faster. Choosing to release Kip, and hoping he can still save the Earth, he removes Kip from the panel and inserts the key. He turns it and the countdown speeds up. He sits with Kip until the countdown reaches zero, but the machinery that will launch the missiles malfunctions and the Earth is saved.
Logline: A man must endure a year in exile in an inhospitable environment before he can return to exact revenge on the man who killed his father.
After going through a quarter of the script there were constant spelling, grammar and character labeling errors that stops the reader from getting into the script. Please go through your script before re-submitting. Pg 2 spelling, word holster should be “sheath” for the katana p4 spelling pg6 spelling pg 7 spelling pg 11, 12, 14, 18, 26, shooting as accurately as Terry does is virtually impossible unless… pg 21 Terry seems to be wasting bullets when he conveyed he’ll have to look for more. I know he has another gun but in a wasteland replenishing supplies is very hard if not impossible. Pg 31 he doesn’t yell at Alice for 1) wasting bullets and 2) alerting others they are in the area! Pg 22 grammar pg 26 wrong person identified. Again on page 31. Pg 27 grammar
Logline: In order to win a bet and keep ownership of her company, a woman must get pregnant from one of the tenants in her brother’s condominium building by the end of the weekend.
This story has too many subplots that run over the main story and confuse the audience along the way. My review will discuss this in detail in place of writing out the synopsis.
Logline: Three eldery women receive an eviction notice from the bank and decide to take up a life of crime to pay off the mortgage but can they stop once they started?
On the verge of foreclosure, three octogenarians get the help from a young man who had just robbed their house, after the bank informs them they are going to be evicted. But can they stop living that ‘thug’ life? Janet, Esther, and Sheila have been friends since they were teenagers. They went to the bank office in person and pleaded but the loan officer would have none of it. In two weeks they would have to raise sixty thousand dollars. They tried to sell some of their antique items but could only get a few hundred dollars. As it turns out the robber was Lonnie, the younger brother of a local neighbor. Instead of turning him in, Janet decided she would have Lonnie train them up to rob houses to get the money they needed. He went along with the plan. They robbed a sewing store so they could use that as a ‘front’ for all the money they were about to make. After committing several robberies that was more than enough to pay off the mortgage, they just couldn’t stop robbing people. They were now the target of several crime families and the police. Ultimately they are caught they end up in a customized 3 bedroom suite inside prison.
Logline: A former member of a commune seeks revenge after being exiled while the cult’s leader works to eliminate him for good.
Ben is exiled from a commune and then told he will be executed but escapes during the trial. His father Thomas reports to the leader Eli that they caught up to him but he chose not to kill him because he is his son. Meanwhile Eli's son Max is struggling with his role in the commune and receives his father wrath in the way of whippings that the commune accepts. Ben returns years later (we assume) to exact revenge on the commune. He runs into Max in the forest and befriends him and tells him of his desire for revenge. But when Ben seeks out a commune liaison Bobby, he finds him at death's door after being shot. After a police officer finds him in Bobby's house he overpowers the police officer and flees. The police investigation introduces Annie who turns out to be Ben's ex-lover and Eli's daughter. When she learns that Ben is back in town she guesses that he is going to return to the commune and seeks him out. She finds Ben and learns of his plan to see revenge and she teams up with him. Max helps Ben get fuel so they can set fire to the commune. Meanwhile the police are piecing things together and find Bobby's truck parked next to Annie's prompting them to go into the forest to find them. That's when Ben enacts his plan and Annie supplements the revenge by shooting commune members. Originally Ben was going to kill Max but decides not to. The fire is successful in bringing Eli to Ben for a final shootout that Max participates in to a bloody end.
Logline: When the legacy of her mother’s cancerous gene shows up, a strong-willed teenager must decide if a mastectomy while still in high school is the way to go.
A family already working with a divorce learns not only does the mother have terminal cancer but that the daughter has a gene that virtually guarantees she will get it. The story takes us through the daily moments of being a family of divorce. Each member is struggling with their individual needs and attempts to find joy in their life. The dialogue is acerbic which reveals that the family is dysfunctional, and only gives a cursory interest in each other. Each shows moments of love for another at times, but struggle to maintain that connection when their own needs override their family members. It is when the father crassly reveals to his son in a moment of rage and weakness that the kids learn their mother is going to die. It is then that each takes a different path to the end to the climax. The mother continues to dope herself with opioids. The son finds them and in a moment of teenage of lonely despair tries to commit suicide. The daughter already feeling alienated from her mother let alone her family asks her new boyfriend to run away but he declines and so she does so anyway. When she learns her brother is in the hospital a stranger tricks her into thinking he is helping her but attempts to rape her, but she successfully escapes. The father is dealing with two families: his new wife who is 9 months pregnant and his previous family which he puts little effort into helping them cope with his absence. The climax comes with the daughter choosing to have breast removal surgery and in a very odd moment of disorientation, the mother thinks the son has disappeared and she loses her mind and walks into the ocean and drowns herself.