Overall, the story was interesting. But, the pacing was uneven. For the first two acts the pacing was slow. However, the third act pacing was fantastic and had me on the edge of my seat in suspense. The characterization was well done. The dialogue was natural.

4 months ago | read more...

All in all, a great idea that needs to be written in a more serious tone and manner. Exploration of grief by the main character should be at the center of it. Slowly building tension with the murder and supernatural elements should take place on every page. Complexity should pour over every character.
I would recommend you trim down all unnecessary accessory elements, focus on Jeanie's struggle with the death of her mother. Start by giving them...

3 months ago | read more...

A very strong screenplay with excellent character development and a well structured story. The last 20 pages introduce a twist that this reader questions as necessary, as it drastically changes the tone of the preceding film. That being said, the twist was still well structured, if a bit of a stretch. The story has excellent pacing and flows well. The overall concept, while not entirely original, shows a good working of a family drama and mur...

4 months ago | read more...

First thing's first, you are a bonafide screenwriter. I can tell that by your writing. You have a very unique voice and it works well with the script you have written. There isn't much to tell you about the craft of screen writing because it's obvious that you have put much study into it. You write like someone that has been doing it for years. You know what you want to say, you know what you want your characters to do and you know where you want...

4 months ago | read more...