Wanna See

New York State of Mind

By Van Lutz

A Midwestern woman starting her dream job in NYC, finds herself the main suspect in a killing spree, that includes her snobby co-workers.

Draft #3
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 97%
Industry Rating: N/A
Draft 3: 97%
Draft 1: 50%
2 Reviews | 98 pages | 2 weeks ago | Draft 3


A tight lo-budget mystery, with a female lead, and a very nice twist.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

I would love to see this. I am going to mention something that some readers might struggle with. It only took a minute to figure it out. I would imagine on screen it would be perfectly clear. Though some might be left wondering. How does Charles fit into Ginna's life? You never mention, you imply that Ginna and Charles had an affair in Ohio. If this was completely clear, then killing his wife, stalking Ginna, and killing the three men for being r...

1 week ago |
Kenny Athelstan Top Reviewer
Best of Luck with this. There isn't much to say about this except excellent script. This is a tight neatly wrapped story.

4 days ago |
Karen Acklee Top Reviewer
I think you have some incredibly solid ideas here for your script and when the story starts going it really picks up. But there are a lot of problems here. There are far too many characters too keep up with and honestly I don’t feel like I know who the main character is as a person. If we can’t connect to your main character then the rest of the story doesn’t matter no matter how good the rest is.

3 months ago |
Samael Kovacs Top Reviewer
The suspense was extremely well done starting around page 34 but the pacing of the first 33 was very slow.

2 months ago |
Kathleen Hof Top Reviewer

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