007: Origins: part one: Based on the story and characters of Ian Fleming short

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#Action/Adventure #Mystery/Suspense #Drama

When Bond is just a teen, he does not expect his life to change.

Awards

Approved
Winner Draft #1

Summary

6 Reviews | 10 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
This is just a start to a second Bond story I started, need to find ideas to continue it.

Industry Reviews


I thought this was a good concept for a James Bond script, but it's in desperate need of rewriting, mainly for character development and story before it can become something truly great. Good luck!

Overall, the dialogue is the best part about your script. What I would try to do is rethink your story and base it around what YOU want your audience to leave with. In other words, what is the central idea that you want your audience to understand when watching this film? Once you figure that out, create a story from it, and make sure it has a beginning that builds and builds toward a climax, which solidifies your central idea.

Here's an exam...

Peer Reviews

I really enjoyed reading this script. You have a distinct and unique way of writing and I respect that. You have provided a three dimensional feel to James Bond, M and the other side characters. However, this is where it falls short of its potential, if you are planning to make a short film, then this will be a good foundation. But if you are thinking of making a feature length, I think it will be best if you take time to develop your characters...
The short script has all the elements of the start of a feature.
What I like is that it get the story going. A quick instruction of Bond as a young man. Moneypenny get kidnap. And James go home to the orphanage and deals with the Head master and his wife.

What I don't like is James in not assertive. Most people go though life and thing roll over them. I could see James saying to M "And just because my parents was spies do you think I want to...
A lot of potential for separate Origin shorts for 007 (The parents/first day at M6/Blofeld/the orphanage). Currently, there seems to be too many conflict that do not lead to a resolution by the end of the short.

The dialogue is slightly confusing during the interaction between Blofeld and Goldfinger, especially about the mole section (is there more than one mole, and what of M?)

The link between MI6 day and the orphanage is not quite clea...
A good concept that i can see being a series or comic at some point. Just needs a little bit of work on story and dialougue and cutting out some spelling mistakes. The ending is a little confusing but i am not sure if it is being left as a to be continued...

The format is good and the structure is well done, the dialogue is fine but could do with some further development.

It read well and easy.

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