Awards
Approved
Nominee Draft #1
Summary
4 Reviews |
84 pages |
1 year ago
|
Draft 1
Jeremy's reclusive life is changed when he meets Sarah. Now he must face his fears to follow his heart.
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
Overall the concept of the script was excellent, and it was an enjoyable rom-com read. The story needs a lot of work regarding the ending and falling flat. It went way too fast, and it felt like you just wanted to finish the story. Dialogue and structure were significant but small issues, possibly in the script I marked. Characters are solid, but one needs some work to play around with them. I hope this helps :)
Top Reviewer
The characterization was well done. The story was a cute romance. The Narcolepsy makes the story unique.
Top Reviewer
Jeremy, the protagonist, suffers from Narcolepsy, a sleeping disorder. He falls for his neighbor, Sarah. Sarah, however, has a boyfriend and so, Jeremy settles for friendship with her. She helps Jeremy find a girl and the rest of the story continues in that direction.
First of all, the concept of a love story with the Narcolepsy angle is very interesting.
The first few scenes are very gripping. The way Jeremy’s character is introduced and th...
Top Reviewer
I loved it. I was engaged throughout the whole story. The dialogue was good. I was able to get a feel of each character's personality. Nice job on the character development of Jeremy and Sarah. There were a lot of funny moments that I enjoyed and noted. A fitting end.
Top Reviewer
