Maria Ep 1
television
A European woman meets her online American boyfriend in person but they have to navigate cultural differences.
Approved
Nominee
Draft #1
Draft #1
2 Reviews |
26 pages |
3 months ago
|
Draft 1
Summary
In episode 1 Maria gets left by her parents and stays with her uncle. While growing up she looks at american tv and admires the women through the screen and wants to go to America. One day a American guy messages her online and after a year of talking they finally decide to meet.
Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
All in all, this was a decent attempt at a first draft pilot episode for Maria Ep. 1. I would focus more on rewriting dialogue and the scenes to make them more engaged and not as fast paced as they currently are. Good luck!
2 months ago
|
read more...
Cyle Brooks
Top Reviewer
-At the very beginning I'd give a bit more detail as to what kind of town your characters are in. You mention there are tourists, so I'd describe just a little bit of
what the town looks like.
-Also you may want to give a bit more description to Anna and Luc. You mentioned they were holding blankets and cold, but I didn't realize they were homeless until
they began asking for money. Maybe state that they looked tired, their clothes are di...
what the town looks like.
-Also you may want to give a bit more description to Anna and Luc. You mentioned they were holding blankets and cold, but I didn't realize they were homeless until
they began asking for money. Maybe state that they looked tired, their clothes are di...
2 months ago
|
read more...
Jonathan Barbour
Top Reviewer
Recommended for You
Guncle
television
A tragic accident sends 15-year old Trevor to live with his gay uncle Gary—a barely-sane fetish porn producer—who, together with his eccentric life-partner Bruce, teach Trevor how to be a real man!
ANTRIM
television
Follows the life of a young Northern Irish loyalist paramilitary member and his ex-paramilitary uncle in prison.