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LOGLINE: A group of friends visit a manor but have to figure out to escape it because it is haunted.




2 Reviews | 28 pages | 1 year ago | Draft 1
Judy, Ned, and Lena visit a manor. They are faced with some unexpected horrors and have to find a way to escpae.

Industry Reviews

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Peer Reviews

Ok, so this script has potential. But this first draft is nowhere near good. I recommend you read up on screenwriting and regular creative writing to get a sense of how stories work because this is not it. Also, I noticed that you categorized this under "television", if this is a pilot, you've really told the entire story in this one episode. There's not really anywhere to go with the characters. In conclusion, work hard on improving this script,...
Pg 5 "Judy looks at her watch that show(s) coordinates."
Pg 7 "Who ever owned this had too much money".
Pg 11 "We will go the study, take some picture(s) of anything (something) interesting."
Pg 11 "On the papers there are picture(s) of a brain putting out waves "
Pg 12 "We got (have) to find a way out of here."
Pg 12 "Judy and Lena walk into a hallway (and) the door to the stairs
Pg 15 " She keeps focusing and he(his) head starts...

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