Wanna See
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Good oranges from the bottom of the barrel

television
By i n
Family,Drama

A mother is in financial trouble and her son faces an unfortunate circumstance while trying to help.

Approved
Peer Rating: 27%
Industry Rating: 33%
2 Reviews | 30 pages | 3 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Tay gets laid off and Gavin tries to help her but ends up getting expelled.

Industry Reviews

Overall, this wasn't a bad script. It just needs more work on making a stronger story and better pacing/structuring so that the story can be an easier read. Good luck!

4 days ago | read more...
Cyle Brooks Top Reviewer

Peer Reviews

So with this feedback, the writer should improve on this story in three ways:

1. Add real setups to your story beats for effective payoffs.
2. Make us care about your characters, don't expect us to latch onto them immediately.
3. Dialogue.

Something else I'd also suggest, is try making this a longer episode instead, like 60 pgs. Then we can spend more time with the characters, getting to connect, and understand, then we can get the setups...

3 days ago | read more...
Marlon Schwiersch Top Reviewer

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