Again to Love
A college foreign exchange student unintentionally gets involved in a love triangle between two exes and must decide to let her feelings be known, or let them get back together.
Iðunn Halldórsdóttir is in a failing relationship as Will North's relationship with his longtime girlfriend, Theresa Jenkins comes to an abrupt end.
Months later, Iðunn and Will meet through Olivia North, Will's mother, who hosts Iðunn as a foreign exchange student.
Meanwhile, Theresa runs into Will in public. Combined with the run in and stumbling upon old photos of her and Will together, Theresa has second thoughts and regrets about ending the relationship.
As Iðunn and Will's relationship grows, Theresa tries to salvage what was left of hers and Wills.
A family emergency causes Iðunn to return home. While back home Iðunn breaks up with her boyfriend. This causes Iðunn to look toward Will for comfort. Theresa tries to make attempts at getting Will back into her life to rebuild what they used to have together.
Eventually, Theresa discovers Iðunn and Will's connection together causing a confrontational situation.
Iðunn looks toward Olivia and her family for advice. Theresa goes to her roommate, Hayden Crow. And, Will all but gives up on love entirely.
Iðunn makes the decision to let her feelings be known for Will. Will and Iðunn get together. While Theresa finds new and unexpected love with Hayden.
Theresa tries to make up for her actions by getting Will an internship in Iceland to be with Iðunn. Will and Iðunn reunite in Iceland together.
Is the Concept strong/original? Yes and no. It read like a "Life time movie" The first half of the script is slow compared to the last half.
Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? Not really. But the whole point is to build to the last half of the s...
In most cases you forgot to show. You told us almost everything. The rule is that if it's not on screen. Cut it out. Write only what we can see.
I'll give an example of the opening scene. Where are told that Idunn just received a letter. We don't see that. U could have maybe show a delivery man pass a letter n then she feels great about it.
Also it's not clear...
1. Concept - As mentioned previously, the concept isn't the most original or the strongest. That being said, that gives you more room for creativity and I can see that you've definitely taken that into account more for this newer draft.
2. Story - Just as before, I thought the story was, overall, pretty good. I've noticed it was shortened up just a tad to keep it from dragging and the big scene...
As far as...
A screenplay (movie) shows us a story through action and reaction. Live fictional characters, in the most entertaining way possible....
Story: ... the execution does have to be great. A story really should have conflict, a sequence of causes and effects. There’s no real conflict that drives the st...
1. Concept - Even though the concept isn't the most original, it's simple enough to where you can work with it and add a lot of your own creativity into it.
2. Story - For the most part, I thought the story was decent, albeit a bit prolonged and just slightly predictable. Unfortunately though, I feel like the story downgrades in quality once it gets to the ending, almost entirely because of Theresa's ch...