Awards
Approved
Summary
3 Reviews |
131 pages |
5 years ago
|
Draft 1
AGENT ASHLEY SIMMONS VI is a man of God, but domestic difficulties and career stagnation have taken their toll. He tells his partner, AGENT WINSTON PERRY, as much and also about the visions he been having. Seven angels. Fire and brimstone. Stuff straight out of Revelation. Ashley's found his calling. And his route to promotion. Evangelizing a squad of convicts to bust a drug cartel. He puts Winston in charge of recruitment.
Every team needs a leader, and JOSEPH WILKINS is just the man. He's a Vietnam vet and a former drug dealer. He's also blind. He gets paroled after 50 years in the pen and Winston promptly kidnaps him. Joe wakes up surrounded by five other felons and a lawyer. Ashley informs them that they've each been handpicked to join Division 69 and promises to expunge their criminal records. Joe doesn't want to lead anybody but he does want to see his estranged family in Arizona. He's accepts, reluctantly.
Through weeks of group therapy, team-building exercises, and calisthenics, the unit begins to gel. Ashley orders Winston to deputize them. The get a taste of the other side of the law. And they like it. The power goes to their head while staking out the their target and they blow their cover. Things only escalate at Taco Bell when some of the cartel members show up for fourthmeal. Joe orchestrates an escape.
Unfortunately, Ashley learns of their escapades and rebukes them. The team comes together to save their own hides, but Ashley reveals intel about each of them, unveiling the unfortunate connections from their pasts. As Division 69 unravels, Ashley thinks he may have been wrong. But Joe galvanizes the team.
The night arrives to commence the operation. They infiltrate the cartel's underground casino. They succeed. Ashley delivers his promise of a clean slate... by ordering Winston to have them all executed. As Winston is driving them to be killed, the group reconcile with one another, confessing their failures and regrets. Winston, is moved and makes a confession of his own. He determines to help them take down Ashley, but they need a plan. Joe has an idea. Do exactly what Ashley trained them to do.
They storm HQ and take out Ashley's men, and put Ashley on trial for his various crimes. After finding him guilty, they bring in the sentence. Death. The group realizes they make a pretty good team. If only they had a name...
Every team needs a leader, and JOSEPH WILKINS is just the man. He's a Vietnam vet and a former drug dealer. He's also blind. He gets paroled after 50 years in the pen and Winston promptly kidnaps him. Joe wakes up surrounded by five other felons and a lawyer. Ashley informs them that they've each been handpicked to join Division 69 and promises to expunge their criminal records. Joe doesn't want to lead anybody but he does want to see his estranged family in Arizona. He's accepts, reluctantly.
Through weeks of group therapy, team-building exercises, and calisthenics, the unit begins to gel. Ashley orders Winston to deputize them. The get a taste of the other side of the law. And they like it. The power goes to their head while staking out the their target and they blow their cover. Things only escalate at Taco Bell when some of the cartel members show up for fourthmeal. Joe orchestrates an escape.
Unfortunately, Ashley learns of their escapades and rebukes them. The team comes together to save their own hides, but Ashley reveals intel about each of them, unveiling the unfortunate connections from their pasts. As Division 69 unravels, Ashley thinks he may have been wrong. But Joe galvanizes the team.
The night arrives to commence the operation. They infiltrate the cartel's underground casino. They succeed. Ashley delivers his promise of a clean slate... by ordering Winston to have them all executed. As Winston is driving them to be killed, the group reconcile with one another, confessing their failures and regrets. Winston, is moved and makes a confession of his own. He determines to help them take down Ashley, but they need a plan. Joe has an idea. Do exactly what Ashley trained them to do.
They storm HQ and take out Ashley's men, and put Ashley on trial for his various crimes. After finding him guilty, they bring in the sentence. Death. The group realizes they make a pretty good team. If only they had a name...
Industry Reviews
No Industry Reviews
Peer Reviews
I AM SO SORRY TO INFORM THE WRITER THAT I COULD UNFORTUNATELY NOT OPEN THE PDF FILE OF THIS SCRIPT. THIS IS, THEREFORE, NOT A REVIEW. I HAD ALREADY CLAIMED IT BEFORE I FOUND OUT THAT I COULDN'T OPEN IT. THIS MAY BE EITHER BECAUSE THE SCRIPT WAS UPLOADED IN A FILE TYPE THAT IS NOT A PDF OR BECAUSE THERE IS SOME TECHNICAL PROBLEM ON MY SIDE. AGAIN, I AM VERY SORRY THAT THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A REVIEW. THE LOGLINE AND SUMMARY I'VE ADDED TO THIS REVIEW...
This story was very, very hard to follow. Even reading it, I'm really not sure exactly what the plot was. Ashley brings together this group of criminals to take down a Vietnamese drug cartel -- yet, the way it plays out, Ashley and Winston could have done this by themselves. It didn't make sense to me. It was more work to bring the group together.
Also, there were so many characters that it was hard to care about them. The most realized charac...
Top Reviewer
I really liked this script, it's fresh and unqiune and that is something that no can take away from it. It's readable and digestable, the character development carries out through most of the script, as only lacks a small times.
There are some spelling mistakes, but it's easy typo's to correct. The story is fast the pace of this reminds of T2 as it's fast, I think that you have done a good job with the script.
The cahracter of Joe is well de...
Top Reviewer
