Wanna See

Good Afternoon

By Cyrus Aduana

A woman tries to spend time with her daughter.

Peer Rating: 7%
Industry Rating: N/A
1 Reviews | 3 pages | 3 months ago | Draft 1


Elizabeth, a woman in her fifties has been diagnosed with lung cancer. She spends the afternoon with her daughter Abigail, who's in her twenties.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

In hopes of helping you here, I can't honestly give better score than I did above.

However, I'm going to give you the page by issues and give you an example (on the first one) of turning a blow by blow account into story telling, by creating moving pictures and characters we can visualize.

You need to be more active in your action statements. Don't have them "sitting and stare" over 4 lines of your script. (blow by blow account).


1 week ago |
vince caruso Top Reviewer

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