Identity crisis Short

By Rampota

A transgender makes a suicide video after going through sexual and emotional abuse.


Rating is only available to members
Genre: Drama
No. Reviews: 2 | Length: 25 pages
Published: 2 weeks ago


In Africa, a part of the world where transgenders hide themselves forever, Victoria was no different. All her life, the one thing she wanted was to love and be loved. Her father rejected her. She had no friends growing up. Her boss set her up with her secretary who is the love of her life just because she refused to sleep with him.
Her life became a mess when her secretary left her. She tries to kill herself but survives. Finally, she gets help from a law firm to take down her boss.

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I think the story has a strong message, great concept, and a good writing voice. I'm not sure if this is a short, or the pilot for a T.V. show, but I would expand this into a feature length script because the subject matter calls for more story.

I was wanting more character development between Samantha and Victoria so we learn about their relationship, maybe they had fights before, some more intimate moments. Most of the emotional development is done through Victoria's Voiceovers but it would be great if I could feel what she is feeling without having her tell me through voice over.

The Boss character could be more menacing and should represent society as a whole. He should be more oppressive and maybe we catch a hint of his plans before the big reveal.

The following dialogues I felt were too on the nose:

We can’t abandon our son. Not now
that he needs us the most.

Who said anything about money? For
our firm, all transgender abuse
cases are pro bono. You cannot let
your former boss get away with what
he did to you.

I don't know enough about Samantha at this point to believe this line:

You asked me to be with you and I
am saying yes. Someone has to keep
an eye on you and make sure you
don’t do stupid things like trying
to kill yourself.

I think the arc could be stronger for Victoria throughout the script, make us really feel bad for her through things that people do to her, say to her, say to her behind her back etc. More about how society has forced her into isolation by the age of 28.

  • 1 week ago
  • |
  • 3.5

This is just a way too common topic in our world today and nothing really made it pop out to me like oh wow this is something amazing. I felt that the plot was dry, the romance was more sex driven and the story was just bland.

  • 1 week ago
  • |
  • 3.5