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Entitled

Feature

Three people wake up in a room with no doors or windows. They notice a casket at the far side of the room with three locks and a timer counting down. They must figure out why they are there and what happens when the timer reaches zero.

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Nominee
Draft #1
Rating is only available to members
Thriller | 2 Reviews | 78 pages | 5 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

My name is Russell Davis and I am looking for a manager or producer that can help expand my writing career. I'm posting my script here to see if anyone is interested in my script, Entitled. Entitled was featured as an amateur offering on script shadow and has received positive reviews from readers. Entitled is written along the lines of films such as "Saw," "Phone Booth," and "Cube." My overall goal is to turn this into a franchise like "Paranormal Activity." The story starts when Shawn awakes in an enclosed room, not knowing how he got there and why. He notices two other people in the room. Upon waking up Paul they try to figure out what is happening. They discover a casket with three locks attached to it and a timer counting down. This makes them panic, wondering what could be in the casket. Paul tries to act calm, but Shawn is giving him a hard time. Soon, things start appearing and disappearing at a whim. They then find an ax with a word carved into it, evil. This makes them very uneasy; especially since the third person is unable to wake. Upon finding information about each other, they learn that they aren't good people. Shawn slept with his brother’s wife and Paul is an alcoholic. With this new found information Paul doesn't want Shawn anywhere near the ax and takes hold of it himself. They each start questioning their lives and self-made choices, wondering if this is some form of punishment. The other person finally wakes up, only to discover that something has taken her voice. She becomes frantic and doesn’t trust either one of them. She gets hold of the ax and tries to kill them, but Paul is able to calm her down. Soon, they learn that she has also done immoral things. She was a prostitute in prison before awaking as a voiceless woman. Together they investigate the room, looking for clues they may have missed. The Sleeping Beauty, as they call her, discovers a picture of Shawn standing over them with the bloody ax. Shawn tells them that isn’t possible because he’s not a cold bloodied killer. Shawn soon realizes that something supernatural is taking place when a voice swoops him away and talks to him while the others are nowhere to be found. Paul and the Sleeping Beauty soon learn that something supernatural is taking place as well because the same thing happens to them. An unknown entity is plotting them against each other for unknown reasons. It tells them that they have until the timer reaches zero to kill each other or face its wrath. As the timer counts down they are tested by a supernatural force that enjoys playing mind games and stealing their senses. They must figure out what it truly wants before the timer reaches zero and the entity rises. I believe the riveting suspense, mind games, and high stakes in “Entitled” will appeal to a very wide audience and will make a great low budget franchise that will challenge the genre. Please let me know if I can send you the script and thanks for your time and consideration.

Reviews

Entitled is a good idea and a nice take on this type of enclosed thriller or horror with a supernatural element that in a way gives it some originality. And I get what the writer was trying to do with the piece and if it was executed better on the page it might just work, which is something to think about on that rewriting path. But unfortunately, this particular draft falls short of that execution in my view, not to say that I'm right, I'm just...

4 months ago | read more...
Damian Rzymski Top Reviewer
Concept
Three people in a sealed room with casket and a ticking clock. It’s a simple concept, but it’s a strong image and immediately creates strong intrigue in the reader. Who are the people? What’s in the casket? What happens when the clock reaches zero? Immediately you’ve got those nagging questions set-up within the first ten pages or so which draw a reader in. You make a point in the script where Shawn says that he’s in a saw remake, and it...

1 month ago | read more...
Richard Stirland Top Reviewer

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