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Bop

Short

A washed-up boxing trainer finds new hope in an unlikely protege: An inflatable bop clown.

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Winner
Draft #2
Winner
Draft #2
Rating is only available to members
Comedy | 2 Reviews | 16 pages | 2 months ago | Draft 2

Summary

Bruce is a washed-up boxing trainer who happens upon some children beating an inflatable "bop clown", and sees "his" potential as a boxing contender. The comedy comes is in the surreal relationship between this silent, inanimate object and the people around it who treat it like any other person. Most scenes are written to be extremely serious, but are hilarious when the inanimate protagonist is taken into account. There is a strong focus on building the relationship between the bop clown, and his trainer and fitting the arc of their friendship into a 16 page script. After their meteoric rise through the local boxing circuit, a decision must be made between loyalty to your ideals, and protecting those you care about.

Reviews

Grammar/Syntax
I would recommend copy and pasting the entire screenplay into Grammarly. If you're not familiar with the program, it's free for the basic use which is very useful and helps identify several mistakes.
They aren't major, and should only take you a few minutes. This will greatly increase the readability of your script.

Try to avoid words that end with "ing" when you write your action sequences. This helps move the action along qu...

2 months ago | read more...
I think its a funny skit. It would work great for a YouTube skit but not as a show or movie. The dialogue needs a little work. Also the formatting made it difficult to read. Some of the dialogue not labeled, action lines run into the dialogue etc. You also had some spelling and grammar issues.

2 months ago | read more...

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