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Save the Girl

Short

The spirit of a murdered girl, angry at a Detective’s failure to bring her killer to justice, holds the man’s wife hostage in an attempt to force him to exact her revenge on the killer, while he must find a way to save his wife without losing his own soul.

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Horror | 3 Reviews | 17 pages | 4 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Dreams that turn out to be psychic in nature drive a woman (Megan Fritz) to obsession, trying to save a girl that visits her dreams, but who is actually the spirit of a girl who was the victim of an unsolved murder, investigated by the woman’s Detective husband (Sam Fritz). Megan believes that what she is seeing in her dreams is a premonition, and thus, if she acts quickly enough she can prevent the girl's demise. However, as we find out, the girl has already been killed and the girl is actually an angry spirit. At the same time Megan is making sense of her dreams, Sam continues to unsuccessfully investigate the girl's murder. The girl brings Megan and Sam together when she is able to lure Megan to the scene of the crime and possess her body. Sam is blackmailed by the girl/spirit to be the vessel of her revenge on the killer, or loose his wife forever. Sam must find a way to save his wife and not loose soul doing it.

Reviews

The concept was cool, although it had some confusing logic which may have been able to be fixed within a feature or tv format. The scenes are well placed and paced, but poorly formatted (that goes for the script as a whole -- it seemed like there were just moments of misplacing and lack of attention within whichever screenwriting program the writer was using) which made it a bit hard to read and caused me to work through it instead of just enjoy...

4 months ago | read more...
I think your concept is good but not well executed.
The first 3 pages didn't draw me in. The scenes are not well written. The protagonist is not compelling enough. The characters doesn't sound or look real enough. The conflict in the story isn't very much interesting. And the ending just left me hanging not in a way that I want more but in a way that left me confused.

4 months ago | read more...
First, I have to commend the ending. It actually generated some emotion in me. You exactly knew where to stop. And your descriptions were apt and dialogue was okay overall.

I had issue with the title, first and foremost. 'Save the girl' works for me along the line of a murder mystery of a girl that needs to be saved, not a mystery drama turned horror. And then, I realized maybe the girl that needed to be saved here is Megan, not the murdered g...

4 months ago | read more...
Olusola Oladesu Top Reviewer

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