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Trey goes through Southside Jamaica, Queens dealing with the standard baby momma drama, systemic racism, and socio-economic disenfranchisement, but little does he know that this is the last day of his life.

Draft #1
Draft #2
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Drama | 4 Reviews | 97 pages | 4 months ago | Draft 2


Taking place on one of the last Saturday's of the summer, "Southside" is a hood drama that follows Trey as he goes through the motions of being a father, boyfriend, and friend, living in Southside. A culmination of my own experiences, stories I've collected in my life growing up in Southside Jamaica, Queens and sprinkles of my favorite hood classics. This script began as an homage to one of my favorite films, Spike Lee's "Do The Right Thing", but ended up becoming a very personal cathartic experience. The script stays true to the hood's vernacular, so it has a heavy use of slang (NOT TYPOS, MISSPELLINGS OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS). I also provided music cues that set the vibe for several moments -- they aren't necessary to understand the scenes but give a little more immersion for what was felt while writing.


I hope you won't consider this a waste of your points. I have reviewed this script before and everything I wrote here before still holds. Concept, story, dialogue, structure, actions, beginning, ending. They are good.
But now, it is definitely better.

4 months ago |
no doubt it's a good story. it would be better to make it a bit intrigued at the beginning.

4 months ago |
SOUTHSIDE is a gripping and powerful reflection of the continuous trials and hardships that most minorities (specifically, African-Americans) in a poverty-stricken, “projects, “ in America, both past and present, face on a daily basis. Highlighting police brutality and corruption as its central theme, while creating a realistic world that isn’t sugar-coated; Southside depicts a raw depiction of what thug-life, the life of many who live in the pr...

4 months ago |
MARC LAW Top Reviewer
the concept is really strong there is a clear idea of the story and sets up is well done.
We immediately get into the story thanks to the flashback early in the story. But without the flashback, the story drags a little bit just the fact that he goes to work already takes 15 to 20 pages.
In term of the scenes, I had a hard time with the intercut, it was very confusing as it hard to focus on two locations at the same time when reading. It's t...

3 months ago |

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