When The Bell Jangles Short

By HanDarris

A woman running away from an abusive relationship holds a secret but so does the hotel she finds herself in.


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Genre: Thriller
No. Reviews: 1 | Length: 10 pages
Published: 2 months ago


My story is an Alfred Hitchcock inspired thriller called 'When the bell jangles" about a young woman named 'Jane' who is running away from an abusive relationship when she finds herself at a secluded hotel for the night in which she discovers a dead body. In her desperate attempt to remain under the radar she covers it up on a series of actions which complicate her situation. what is she hiding? Is the killer still lurking around?

The story tackles the subject of domestic abuse and how far an individual will go to escape it. Voyeuristic techniques seen in many of Hitchcock's films are used add to the suspense of the story and for the audience to question the characters motives.

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Jane's motivation to leave her abusive husband is clear, but why she pretends to work at the hotel and cover up a murdered young woman is not. Right there, in the story, you have a problem because her decision to stay and hide the body isn't believable. She's supposed to be on the run at this point, why is she staying? Mr. Harrington doesn't add anything to the story and is a little out of place, his appearance causes the pace to suffer. Why does the man finally reveal himself instead of just waiting until Jane leaves to get his coat? Why would the murderer want his face seen, wouldn't that be the opposite of what someone would do if they're hiding? The man gets away, and it's hard to believe that he would turn around just for lust. The way it ends with her murdering him and then the reveal that she's on the run because she murdered her husband is pretty clever but it isn't executed to its full potential.

  • 1 week ago
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  • 2.25