He was an ass hole who had it all then lost it all. And After 8 years of being homeless, he gains it all back with a 400 million dollar lottery ticket. And he's still an ass hole.
SummaryMeet Carl. He's a middle aged man who's a master at being an obnoxious jerk and hurting everyone who has made the mistake of knowing him. After a multitude of horriby ill advised mistakes costs him everything, he finds himself homeless for 8 years. Thats until one random drunken evening he luckily wins a 400 million dollar lottery ticket. So, now that Carl is back on his feet, how will he make use of his new found wealth? Who knows, maybe being homeless made him a better person....or maybe not.
The first 3 pages wasn't a page turner but it wasn't bad at the same time. It made me want to finish the story.
The scenes are not well written. For starters, this is a spec script and there were stage directions in it. It's not suppose to the there. Please eliminate all stage directions. Just write the story. Let's see the beauty.
Absolutely compelling. Your protagonist is a very interesting character. I love the way he talks but the use of the word "shit" is just too much. Cut it down.
I like the conflict though the part where he was talking with the ex wife and the elderly woman doesn't sound real. The pacing is good though the flashback kinda of drew me back. And the climax was awesome.
Mister White has created a likable flawed character that can have the lay public wanting more.