Lily (2nd Draft)
A young woman finds out that the biological father she's never known is terminally ill. One of his final requests is to see her before he passes.
A touching short about a father and daughter relationship that only gets a chance to blossom towards the end if the father's life.
This is better in the fact that you added some exposition (on-the-nose) dialogue to explain his pitfalls, and some of the questions that I posed in my last review. But, it still contains the same problem. Everything is still explained in dialogue and not...
"Lily" focuses on a universally appealing human moment. The story stays anchored to the concept without any extraneous details.
LOGLINE / FIRST 10%
Your logline presents the basic set-up, but I don't believe that it's as...