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PAURA

Short

A couple spends a night in a film theater. But as the night deepens, things become nightmarish and surreal.

Approved
Nominee
Draft #1
Rating is only available to members
Horror | 14 Reviews | 3 pages | 9 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

A film about seeing. As a couple spends a night in a film theater, nightmares escape through the screen. Designed to be told through a single static camera, PAURA is a surrealist short horror film inspired by the works of Bunuel, Dali, and David Lynch.

Reviews

- Is the Concept strong/original?
I genuinely didn't understand the concept too well. It didn't have much purpose and the only shock value was the word "plak" that was written in caps on the last page.

- Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
The logline gave enough info, but again, there wasn't much to draw from in the story.

- Are scenes well-written?
Meh. It wasn't terribly written, but there was a lot to be desired. In 3 s...

9 months ago | read more...
This script is very short which could be good for a story like this, however, I get the feeling that the writer was trying to avoid spoiling the end so hard, that it made the character development non-existent.

Apparently, at 12, a baby gets born out of the death of an Angel. For the viewer, this leaves a lot of questions. There is zero explanation about any of it. Is this a private viewing? What does the movie have to do with it all? There i...

9 months ago | read more...
I hate all my own loglines, so please ignore my logline for this. I SUCK at loglines.

The reason for the fairs and the passes –

Honestly, the symbolism and metaphors (if they are actually there) I do not understand.

The “fear” (Pauna), doesn’t really play a part in either The Angel or Diane’s story. Diane has fear watching the film. But, it’s the growth and explosion that plays more a part of her story.

As a person who is not rel...

9 months ago | read more...
Van Lutz Top Reviewer
For a short I think it would be visually appealing. The descriptions of the angel getting tortured and Diane pain were written very well. Although the whole concept was lost on me. I never once understood David's motive, why Did he go see this movie, what did it have to do with Diane and the baby. There were a lot of questions and no answers. If that was what you were going for then I say it was a success. The writing was good, just confused on t...

7 months ago | read more...
Tyke Spaide Top Reviewer
It is an interesting concept for a scary short film. I didn't understand why you put this in the action line.
"We are facing the blank screen. We hear an unseen couple enter and take a seat." Who is "we"? I'm not sure if you were referring to a camera angle or just using the term "we".

7 months ago | read more...
I like the concept, it seems original to me. First lines actually did draw me into the story. You explained the atmosphere well, liked it. Dialouges are good, they makes me say "what the hell?". And like the pacing. For 3 pages script, it goes well. But the line that David says at the end of the script is not enough I guess. I mean there is something I can't explain about the line but it's like something is incomplete. But, liked the story!

5 months ago | read more...
Concept is compelling enough. Characters are interesting. Scenes are well written.
Dialogue is awesome.
Action and narrative can use some work.
The first page got me curious to keep going.
It will be better to have two distinctive names. David and Diane are similar thus confusing sometimes.
Climax is good. I didn't see it coming.

5 months ago | read more...
I had to read over this more than once to figure out what was going on, but that’s not a bad thing. I kind of liked being stumped on this and trying to figure it out.

I thought this was an interesting, if kind of ridicules, way to murder his wife and to get a baby. I do not know why he would have to do it this way, but that’s probably another story. I was confused by the fact that Diane was still able to talk, during what was happening to her,...

5 months ago | read more...
This was typed on a type-writer and scanned into a .pdf and 20-30% of the script is missing, as a result. Not that it matters too much, because there isn't really anything of substance here.

This is someone trying very hard to do their David Lynch impression in the shortest possible time-span.

At barely 3 pages, this is more of a scene, and less a screenplay.

This was typed on a type-writer and scanned into a .pdf and 20-30% of the sc...

5 months ago | read more...
The film is very abstract and very cryptic. Though there is a lot of imagery and symbolism (such as the angel losing its wings as well as the continuous feeling of time running out), there is a lack of concrete theme in the screenplay. The dialogue is well-written and I especially enjoyed the last line; "Hush now, my son. It's already twelve. The end has come". Despite this, I came out of the screenplay empty-handed, having not absorbed any concr...

4 months ago | read more...
Abraam Dawod Top Reviewer
I did not like this at all. It was WAY too over-the-top. I try not to let my religion interfere with my reviews, but being a Baptist, I almost had to stop reading it. I'm sure many horror fans would like it.

A clown named Lubu befriends a homeless man, Sammy, as they walk to a child's birthday party. At first I was not intrigued becuase the story didn't really hit right in the middle for me. But the end really surpr
ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _...

1 month ago | read more...
This was probably one of the stupidest scripts I've ever read- and I've been writing movies since the age of 10, so I've had my fair share of stupid scripts. On paper, this should be a good short film- I liked the connections between the actual events and the movie they were seeing, but in reality, the execution of this script falls flat. You shine in some areas, like the symbolism in the theater, but the main problem is you tried to cut right to...

1 week ago | read more...
Concept: The idea of a couple going to a theater to watch a movie only to have one of the characters from the movie be "linked" (I guess) to one of the people in the theater was a bit interesting. However, the execution of this concept was very poor. It feels incredibly rushed and there's really no build up to the climax or any form of development except for the scenes of cruel torture against the angel.

Story: There wasn't really even a stor...

1 week ago | read more...
First of all I want to say that your writing is really good, there are no errors and the dialogues are great, it's very pleasant to read your script and the coldness of David is well transcribed.
Personally, I think that the biggest problem of your script is the beginning. I really think that it would be better if you showed us the characters before entering the theatre. We don't really know the relationship of the two protagonists, are they mar...

3 days ago | read more...

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