A secret society of black women gets infiltrated.
SummaryWhen a corporate climber lies about her affiliation to a secret society in order to get her dream job she has no idea the nightmare she is about to embark upon.
- Is the Concept strong/original?
The concept is strong and pretty original.
- Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader?
It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself.
- Are scenes well-written?
They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered.
- Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough?
Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society.
- Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character?
I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed.
- Does the dialogue drive the story/character?
At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story.
- Is the conflict real/genuine?
The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major.
It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag.
- Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time?
No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully.
- Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader?
I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script.
- Does the script read well?
Very well. It was a great read.