Think of the most milquetoast person you know. Got it? Good. That's Tim. Today, Tim has decided that, in order to change his life, he must rob his old work place. With the help of his friends, in case being standard household appliances, Tim will experience a rollercoaster of highs and lows and try to come out somewhat alright in the end.
1. Concept - I originally thought this was gonna be aimed for kids considering the title and such, but nope! You made this a more mature take and I loved it.
2. Story - I definitely enjoyed the fact that you went with a more Seth Rogan approach with your story rather than the average predictable kid-friendly storytelling that we've heard a million times. The story was...
First things first "Think of the most milquetoast person you know. Got it? Good.
That's TIM (20s). Now, you've met Tim. You might not remember
meeting him, but you've definitely met him at least twice." - This sounds like narration dialogue so I would suggest making it (O.S.) and not an action because otherwise your audience won't know what to visualize since you've made it...