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The Cabin on Walker Lane

feature

During the pandemic, a writer flees the city with his wife and brother to a cabin Upstate - and encounters a murderous cult.

Approved
Winner
Draft #1
Peer Rating: 59%
Industry Rating: N/A
Horror,Thriller | 6 Reviews | 118 pages | 1 month ago | Draft 1

Summary

As the global pandemic rages on, failed filmmaker Dev O'Rourke seizes an opportunity to flee New York City with social media influencer wife Izzy and grad-student brother Mac. What seems like the ideal writer's retreat turns out to be a living nightmare, however, as Dev starts to suspect that the small mountain community in Upstate New York might actually be a murderous cult. Timely and terrifying, this horror-thriller taps into very real modern fears of anti-science conspiracies and perverted religious group-think.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

Here are my thoughts for your script:

1. Concept - Cults are one of the most overdone horror tropes in cinema, but you did have fun with the concept and it shows. The script seemed to be pretty inspired by the movie Midsommar as well.

2. Story - The story unfortunately needs some work. I could tell what main events were gonna take place several pages before they actually happened. However, kudos to the climax and ending as those were very s...

4 weeks ago | read more...
Yes, I really liked the idea. A well written and thought out tell with believable dialogue. This concept has been walked over and walked over so many times it's worn away a crater, so when I began reading, I was wondering would this story it fall smack bang into that crater as well. To my surprise, no it doesn't. I was actually quite staggered by the intriguing purpose of this murderous cult. They celebrate their own history to form a new ideolog...

3 weeks ago | read more...
Damian R Top Reviewer
Plot:
Cult murders and mayhem abound in this fast-paced, action-packed thriller. From the opening scene, where Lenny and Beverly Mendessen’s murder by cultist is gruesomely depicted, to the last, where Devin and Mac toss Frank from the fire-escape, there are countless, graphic killings. If this your cup-of-tea, then this script is for you. I, for one, couldn’t put it down, I doubt You’ll be able to, either.

However:
No script is without its...

2 weeks ago | read more...
There are solid bones here, but you're missing a key ingredient: it needs a theme. A theme is a rule of the universe that expresses moral value. The story then debates that ideal. The good news is, you've done what I consider to be the hard part of storytelling already. Now you just need to add the fun part: a theme for your story and a question for your characters to aim at and debate and answer.

CONCEPT:
I'm writing this section before I've...

3 weeks ago | read more...
Devin DeCarie Top Reviewer
The overall concepts of this story could probably some interest in followers of this genre. You would have to suspend all sense of reality regarding scene and motivation set-ups. That’s okay if you’re into occult, blood, and putting yourself in the script.
There are a lot of script opportunities in this work, i.e. writing enhancement to the story. The writer does not take a lot of time in development of scene situations or real character develo...

2 weeks ago | read more...
Reid Barwick Top Reviewer
Greetings of the entire day Mr. Clay, I hope you are keeping yourself

sane, in these difficult times. First of all, I would like to

congratulate you on the well-written script. You are among the ones

who took inspiration from this COVID-19 which is spread around the

world. I liked that very much. At the start of the script, I was quite

aware of the premises. As I started going through it, I came to know

how it follows & pl...

2 weeks ago | read more...

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