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8 Bits

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What you seek might be in front of you the whole time!

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Drama,Comedy | 0 Reviews | 88 pages | 6 days ago | Draft 9

Summary

A young woman has a problem and is desperately in need of a sign to help guide her decision. Could that sign be the mussed up one dollar bill? Spend the next 24 hours following the 7 subsequent individuals that possess the dollar bill, who in their own way, have unique issues and vices themselves. The story, like the number 8, circles back on itself and shares that sometimes, the answer can be right there in front of you the whole time.

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The biggest problem with this script is the structure. It starts off as Jennifer's story. The stakes aren't high enough in her story to truly really care, but we kinda get to know her for the 1st 20 pages or so. She's obsessed with the 7 Deadly Sins and a defaced dollar bill. After that, she passes the dollar bill and, all of a sudden, after devoting almost a full act to Jennifer, the script branches off into a "Magnolia" style ensemble piece whe...

2 months ago | read more...
Michael Kospiah Top Reviewer
First off the writing is just amazing. The text flows well and the dialogue never feels bloated or unnatural. The writer has skills to write any kind of story when it comes to structure and flow.

This story is a difficult one to write since it doesn't have a traditional protagonist or antagonist. There are several characters, but the writer manages it well. All characters got unique personality and their own way of speaking. It's shown rather...

1 month ago | read more...
The story is engaging, going from character to character as the dollar bill is passed along is both fun and intriguing.

There are a lot of structural issues with the screenplay and I do encourage you to reference well known screenplays for examples on structure. The two that stand out the most are your scene headings and montages. For scene headings there should never be action involved. On page 25 you have EXT. DRIVING BY A CHURCH - DAY this...

4 weeks ago | read more...
The formatting of sluglines needs to be reevaluated. For example INT. JENNIFER'S APARTMENT KITCHEN NIGHT needs to be written INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN – NIGHT

If it’s night then we should see a window or a time clock to show the viewer that it’s night time.

You did good on introducing Jennifer, but I had no idea of Mom’s age, personality, nor what she was doing as she was on the phone with Jennifer as you switched from Jennifer’s side of the...

4 months ago | read more...
Please forgive my bluntness.
The Title “8Bits” promises the perfect hacker-film in the vein of Mr. Robot. That explains, why I was a little underwhelmed by its slow start ;-) I was waiting for the hacking bit, which never came. Then I was wondering if you were going “Serendipity”, but the 7sins kept me worrying that you were going to ambush me with some gore in the vein of “Seven” (sorry, I’m too soft for that). To be honest, I had to rush throu...

4 months ago | read more...
Vianne Sophie May Top Reviewer

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