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LoopHole

Short

Someone chases protagnist,but doesn't know why.

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Rating: 45%
Comedy,Mystery/Suspense | 1 Reviews | 4 pages | 1 month ago | Draft 1

Summary

Someone chases protagnist,but doesn't know why.

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Peer Reviews

It reads like that one part in Pulp Fiction when Vincent opens the suitcase. It reads as though the McGuffin is more important than telling the audience a story. What is the goal? I understand what you are going for but it feels as though the ending needs to be stronger.

Check your formatting.
Leo tells us in a voice over and via dialogue that he’s been running for seven hours. That seems redundant. Why not extend some of the scene and actu...

3 weeks ago | read more...
Teigh Reed Top Reviewer

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