Dream of Mirrors
In a future where super-powered children are forced to eliminate the enemies of the state, a precog girl must confront terrifying supernatural forces in order to save her family.
Set in Kecksburg, Pennsylvania in 2080 and inspired by dystopian classics and Second World War theories, we explore the story of good vs. evil in a world where the good guys don’t always win.
The blind belief in a perfect system as emotionless John Preston watches his wife executed in Equilibrium…the John Anderton`s desperate try to change the future that seems inevitable in Minority Report… the total control and thoughtcrimes witnessed by Winston Smith in Nineteen Eighty-Four… the kids with special talents - telekinesis, telepathy and precognition - powerful and lost as the Xmen mutants…the friendship and adventure of Goonies and Stand By Me…
The logline didn't really drag me to the story it was more because I was looking for a story to review. Your first ten pages are interesting. We can get a good grasp of what's to come and we have action early with the killing of Adam, Eve and their mother.
In terms of the scenes, you tend to drag on repetition just a few examples. I think you repeat three or four times that Ad...
You repeated the character introduction twice, “Including Adam and Eve, 10-years old twins that look like two drops of water. IRENE (late 30s), their mother, shouts in Polish and broken German.”
Was it intentional to write “oka” rather than “okay”?
You can use synonyms like a soldier than repeating Nazi. When you describe the ones mocking Helmut for his hangover.
I was confused at what the action sequence is at the “A...
Here are my comments. I hope they're constructive.
DOES THE SCRIPT SET THE SCENE(S)?
Yes and no
See my comments below
DOES THE SCRIPT INTRODUCE CHARACTERS?
Yes and no
--RING: I think JOSEF could’ve said his RANK/NAME right off rather than waiting several pages to find out it’s STEIN.
--TEIRES: If his eyes are gone, no need to tell us, “He is definitely blind.”...
I feel like I just found a old cool car in some garage. It's needs a lot of work, but with the work, it'll while run. I hope that makes sense because there is something there in this story and script to make me keep reading more. I'm very curious what happens next. its just needs some work in...