Darren is bullied by an abusive father. Inexplicably, he begins to transform.
SummaryDarren has been made to feel like someone other than himself from an early age. Instructed and bullied by a toxic father figure, his worst nightmares become reality as he begins to transform. With all sense of reality starting to slip, Darren has to fight for the identity he holds so dear. If he doesn’t, he will be eaten whole by an ideology that threatens everyone. For Darren and boys just like him, time is running out.
I gave up on page 27. There were several things that made me stop reading. Firstly, I just didn't enjoy myself or understand the point of the story and felt that it took too long to read about all the different symbolic things. Problem is, nothing was really clear to me and the story was extremely focused on one character who didn't say much or understand much. And his interactions with people were only about himself and his suffering. It felt like the protagonist complaining for 27 pages without any plot or goal. But for other readers the experience may be different.
The thing is. I don't expect an on the nose script unless I am told it is that. Which I didn't get from the pitch as such. So I judged it as a movie and not a post-modernistic theater play. Which probably is unfair to the story but I judge based on the criteria I feel I saw in the pitch and idea for the script.
Firstly, I didn't understand all the symbolism. I started to think that I understood at least the monkey and the blue and red stuff but even that I lost track off and didn't really understand later on. It's just really hard to read and understand because of the extremely heavy symbolism plus the formatting. If the formatting at least was more clear I would have continued reading it. But the character has the same name no matter what age he is. So as he changes in age from scene to scene it's not clear how old he is or what happened. I would expect that such a complicated script at least could be a better guide for the reader to make sure that the reader would only have to focus on understanding the symbolism. I know that this would be easier to follow along on on screen at least. So therefore I feel that using this method to confuse a reader in writing does not achieve anything good.
The dialogue is extremely on the nose but also doesn't explain most of the stuff I as a reader want to know. I want to know why the protagonist is staying home? Who is his sister? Who is his father? His mother? What about his teachers? His own ideas? His own clear goals? His problems with the police? Instead it becomes an extremely fever dream type of script where he jumps into a toilet, a red monkey is his friend, his father's head grows big, and his father talks to him about how abusive he is very directly. It all seems like a fever dream but because I didn't always follow all his ages I just gave up on understanding it all. It's not something one would easily understand either way. It reminds me of Eraserhead. The thing about these scripts is that they most often are directed by the writer. And this is also what I think is the way for this story to be made. No director will read such a script and understand all the writer's intentions straight away, I think. So it's really a self-directing type of scripts.
Basically it feels like a stage play where people stay in one room and talk directly about their problems while the projector creates blue and red colors all over the place. Don't expect a clear and fast plot progression here. This is not a script for me. If you like Eraserhead this is maybe for you? I don't know, that movie is still my most hated movie ever I think.
Basically as a fever dream script it's just that. A crazy experience. But I can't really judge it because to me nothing here was clear. Besides that of course the story and plot just didn't really interest me because all people were made fake because they talked in a weird way. But, this script needs a better pitch so other readers that love these type of crazy scripts will read it.