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Long Live The President

short

In a revolutionary time, Sahar, a young nurse, finds herself face to face with the old dictator ruling the country after he fell ill and stepped into her emergency room, and must choose between saving him or killing him to save her country.

Approved
Peer Rating: 37%
Industry Rating: N/A
Drama | 4 Reviews | 15 pages | 11 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

Sahar is in her mid
twenties; she is a hard working
nurse in a private hospital. A revolution in the
country just kicked in trying to overcome a
corrupted regime led by an 86 year old ill president.
One rainy night, dozens of injured protesters come
rushing to the Emergency Room, after they were
brutally attacked by the regime. An attending doctor
takes Sahar to a well secured room guarded by army
forces and assigns her to be the official nurse for the
PRESIDENT who just came rushing to the hospital
after having a heart failure. Surprised by the
situation, Sahar is torn between accepting her
medical duties or killing him to save the country.

Industry Reviews

Peer Reviews

I liked the premise of the story but had some difficulty in the medical scenarios as being unrealistic to a nurse's authority in that setting. She seems to be running around on her own rather than directed by a doctor. I also liked the visualization of the rioting outside through the news in the beginning and the ending scene description.
Otherwise I think the script should go deeper on the nurse's own feelings towards the president rather than...

7 months ago | read more...
WL Wright Top Reviewer
There is an American movie called - Hotel Artemis. It stars Jodie Foster, Jeff Goldblum, and Dave Bautista. The genre is a crime thriller with the premise set in downtown Los Angeles where a hospital for high-level criminals masquerades as an old hotel. The script was written by Drew Pearce. It held a multi-thread storyline but had flat emotional stakes.

"The hotel of the title is a run-down establishment in a grim near-future Los Angeles, a...

7 months ago | read more...
I can see you were trying to do a medical drama short here. You had a decent concept but I think it would use some tweaking. But first, I'd like to say that your structure was overall pretty good. I'm not a doctor so I wouldn't know how a lot of the hospital stuff is working but you seem to know very well. I think the dialogue could use some work though. Shorten up the sentences and maybe look into implying subtext in it. There's several YouTube...

7 months ago | read more...
First of all, I would like to remind the writer that I am no expert in either writing screenplays or reviewing them. This is simply my opinion and suggestions, therefore no professional observation on your work.

With that said, I have to compliment the writer on such an amazing story. I love how suspense and mystery were built up throughout the script which engages the reader in the story. It makes you want to read on, which is why I was sligh...

7 months ago | read more...

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