Wanna See
0

Ol Bitty Bangers

Feature

Three 'greatest generation' women get the help of a local thug to dive into a life of crime preventing foreclosure of their private assisted living home which will, in turn, keep the other residents there from being evicted and homeless.

Approved
Rating is only available to members
Comedy | 1 Reviews | 96 pages | 8 months ago | Draft 1

Summary

On the verge of foreclosure, three Golden Girls get the help from Boyz n the Hood and turn to a life of crime until they have enough Benjamins to pay off Shady Mortgage. But can they stop living that ‘thug’ life? Janet, Esther, and Sheila have been friends since they were teenagers. Now in their eighties they have just experienced the loss of their friend and flatmate, Tanaka. Tanaka left the one thing that meant the most to all of them - a historic San Francisco painted lady house that was more than enough room for the four of them and was also a private assisted living residence to a handful of their friends. Since Tanaka was a successful pediatrician, she had paid off the house in full or that is what the ladies thought. What Janet, Esther and Sheila did not know was that Tanaka had taken out a reverse mortgage to take all of them on a vacation to travel the world. Instead of a vacation they were about to be homeless. They went to the Shady Mortgage office in person and pleaded but the loan officer would have none of it. In two weeks they would have to raise sixty thousand dollars. They tried to sell some of their antique items but could only get a few hundred dollars. It seemed like it couldn't get worse but it did. One night they were robbed and held at gunpoint by a man who insisted they must have more money in the house because of how huge it was. He realized they were actually poor when he looked at Sheila’s ugly open-toed shoes. As it turns out the robber was Lonnie, the younger brother of a local neighbor. Instead of turning him in, Janet decided she would have Lonnie train them up to rob houses to get the money they needed. He went along with the plan. Lonnie had them trained in self defence, shooting at the local gun range, and most importantly, how to walk and use profanity like a thug so they would be taken seriously. They also went to the Goodwill thrift store to buy leather outfits to look tough, track suits to run quickly, and videos like “New Jack City”, “Scarface”,and “Charlie’s Angels”. They robbed a sewing store so they could use that as a ‘front’ for all the money they were about to make. After committing several robberies that was more than enough to pay off Shady Mortgage, they just couldn’t stop living the ‘thug’ life. They were now the target of several crime families, Shady Mortgage, and the police. Instead of living in Tanaka’s huge house they end up in a customized 3 bedroom suite inside the ‘big house’.

Reviews

This is a hit and miss comedy. There is some severe situations (like rape) that would not work in a PG13 movie. Is this a black comedy? If not, for a comedy this doesn’t have enough laughs. There are some scenes you do a great job, I can picture the comedy. But much of the time it reads like a weak TV show. If these are old women where is the physical comedy? They aren’t nimble, they aren’t strong, they aren’t fast. You are going to have...

7 months ago | read more...
San Dane Top Reviewer

Recommended for You

MOM:CIRCA 1976
Feature
A Woman tries a beauty product that her genius son makes that ages her into a child.
Nutmeg
Feature
An unconventional therapist who finds he better understands his patients while tripping on nutmeg must now diagnose and cure an apocalyptic disorder known as metapsychosis, as his increasingly psychedelic journey makes it difficult to discern the real from the unreal.
1040-EZ
Feature
What would happen if the IRS number one agent turns into a modern day Robin Hood?