ScriptMother

To be eligible for Screenplay of the Month, your script needs at least 2 complete reviews within the last 55 days (Mar 1, 2019).

Visit your script profile to request a review.

April Screenplay of the Month Winners

Chicago Overcoat TV Series
Written By: Abby LaMarre
Genre: History
The Soft Green Claw Feature
Written By: Esem Samuels
Genre: Drama
HE IS HERE Short
Written By: Tedd Luv
Genre: Horror,Mystery/Suspense,Thriller

Nomineees for Next Month


Feature Film

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Television Series

Awaiting Nominees. Find out how to get nominated.

Short Film

The Importance of Clowning Around Short
Written By: Jacob Smith
Genre: Comedy
Jed's End Short
Written By: Damian Rzymski
Genre: Thriller,Drama
Mister Short
Written By: Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz
Genre: Drama

In the Running

The following scripts are currently eligible for May Screenplay of the Month:

Feature Film

TV Series

Past Finalists

Title Written By Month
The Soft Green Claw Feature Esem Samuels April - 2019
HE IS HERE Short Tedd Luv April - 2019
Chicago Overcoat TV Series Abby LaMarre April - 2019
The Nökken Feature JoAnn Gartin March - 2019
Briarwood TV Series Abby LaMarre March - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof March - 2019
What We Did That Summer Feature Nick Romantini February - 2019
Bop Short Brent Woodroof February - 2019
Lake Of Fire Draftf#4 Feature Anthony Silverwood January - 2019
Westphall TV Series Keith St. Lawrence January - 2019
SUNRISE Short Ronald Mathews January - 2019
Villain Feature Kat Bosworth December - 2018
Blind Ambition Short Renee Brown December - 2018
Jé Rouge Short Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz November - 2018
The Hobo TV Series Michael White November - 2018
Finding Milana Short Kyle Stout November - 2018
Bound by Blood Feature Esem Samuels October - 2018
Southside Feature Pablo Conseco Hernandez Diaz October - 2018
Internal Affairs TV Series Shawn Decker October - 2018

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Latest Reviews


PAURA Short
Reviewed by: John Porter
1.5

I did not like this at all. It was WAY too over-the-top. I try not to let my religion interfere with my reviews, but being a Baptist, I almost had to stop reading it. I'm sure many horror fans would like it. A clown named Lubu befriends a homeless man, Sammy, as they walk to a child's birthday party. At first I was not intrigued becuase the story didn't really hit right in the middle for me. But the end really surpr ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:51 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_TIMED OUT


A clown named Lubu befriends a homeless man, Sammy, as they walk to a child's birthday party. At first I was not intrigued becuase the story didn't really hit right in the middle for me. But the end really surpr ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_RETRYING ERROR_ 404 _ LOSS _ OF _ TRANSMISSION _ 18:34 _ 22 _ 4 _ 2019_TIMED OUT


The Hobo (Draft 2) TV Series
Reviewed by: Richard Stirland
2.25

I have to be honest up front and say that I think you have a fair bit of work of work to do here. One of the first things I would say is that I wasn’t entirely sure of the tone you were going for. It’s listed as a straight comedy, but when I read it through, it felt like more of a dark comedy drama. There are certain points where it comes off extremely dark, such as when Carl smashes up the furniture store, or considers suicide, but then there’s also moments of slapstick comedy (where Carl faceplants doing a knee slide). The shifts in tone can come off as quite jarring. I think the structure you’ve got in place works at the moment, starting to Carl in his present situation, then looping back to fill in the back story, before the climax with the lottery win, you’ve got a 3 act spine there, but I think the issue I had with it, is that I wanted to know what happens next! The premise of the script is that a homeless man wins the lottery, and I think there’s an interesting concept there, but because the script ends just as Carl wins the lottery, we don’t get to explore the premise of the show. How will the lottery win affect him? What will he do first? As a reader, that’s what interested me. When you break down the synopsis of your script in terms of the story you’ve got, I think you could easily condense it down into your first 10 pages say, and use the remaining 15 to explore what Carl does with his winning ticket. There’s two scenes of Carl having affairs with other women where his wife walks in, you only need one to get your point across. You could also save some space by culling the narrator, I don’t feel that they add a great deal at the moment, they just really reiterate information that the story already tells us. Carl himself I think needs a little work make into a strong character. He’s an obnoxious jerk, and that’s the intention, it’s not necessarily a problem, but I think as an audience we need a little more to latch onto, to want to watch more of him. We find out that he’s had everything, a wife, a good job, but he was a jerk, and he blew it. Now that he’s homeless, he’s still a crude jerk. And we get the hint at the end that now he’s won the lottery, he’s going to be a rich jerk. From a character point of view, it would be great to get more of a sense of internal struggle and conflict. Say for example, Carl being homeless had actually made him a better, more sympathetic, sensitive person. But winning the lottery starts him slipping back towards his old ways. How would those two sides to his personality battle each other? Just a final suggestion from me, is that the title ‘The Hobo’ could sell your concept more. How about something like, ‘The Hobo Millionaire’, or ‘The Richest Hobo’. Great work on completing your script and getting to a second draft. If you do a third and upload it on here I look forward to seeking it out. All the best.