Mimi & Vitus – How It All Began is a lovely start with a big heart. It’s beautifully suited for animation or storybook-style storytelling. The imagery is charming, the tone is comforting, and the message of family and connection is strong. To make this even stronger: Add a light mystery or unresolved thread at the end. Sharpen Mimi and Vitus’s individual personalities. Give the magical world a little more wonder or risk — something to make us curious to come back. This is a charming foundation — and with a few thoughtful tweaks, it could grow into something truly special and long-lasting for kids and families.

Beware the Lions is a script with potential, it has commercial bones and some sharp character work. But as it stands, it's overwritten, overlong, and in need of editing. The tone wavers between spy thriller, buddy comedy, and tragic character study, but the script doesn’t commit fully to any of them. The emotional moments don’t land as hard as they could because the tonal inconsistency undercuts their gravity. What it needs: - A leaner, more focused first act. - Clearer genre direction: is this satirical, emotional, serious espionage, or comic heist? - Trimming dialogue and side scenes that don’t drive the story forward. - Simplifying the plot. The bones are there. The heart is there. But it needs discipline to become a better script.

When I first started reading, I pictured it as an animated Disney movie. So when it got violent, I was caught off guard. If you were going for the kids movie, I think you missed the mark. But if you were going for something that pretends to be a kids movie, and then changes, you did very well. I liked a lot of your writing and encourage you to do some more drafts of this screenplay with different tones. Do one completely Disney. Do one completely dark. Do it as a comedy. Try some different things and then put them all together and see what you have. You have a great start, keep writing!