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jerry hansen just claimed a review for a short script
18 minutes ago
HE IS HERE short
Genre: Horror,Mystery/Suspense,Thriller
A traumatised former lawyer feels a constant terrifying presence and struggles to understand if it is real or a product of his own mind.
2 months ago
1 reviews
36 pages
jerry hansen completed a review for
3 hours ago
Moving Day feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
Review Rating:

first page We reveal ugh -- description only 6-time thing -- funny --- never heard that one ok - im getting ur more novelistic than i --- crisp clean scene description - what how u want a scene to go -- SHOW ME - scene descrip some but dialog that has subtext - in ur face even bar chat mini-drama (i never said this is easy... bane - also what makes it int'g) lone slug bottom pg5 lots of -ing pg6-7 - abandoned dialog EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX – MORNING In the morning we reveal an ordinary apartment in a southern town in the United States. FADE IN: EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - EARLY MORNING We're FLYING above suburban America, DESCENDING SLOWLY toward a tree-lined street. EXT. - ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - DAY We're FLYING once again over Robin Hood Trail, ASCENDING SLOWLY. never heard big orange So, LA huh, the city of angels, the big naranja. dont know what this means AUSTIN That was his fault if we keeping it a buck. description - tell us what we see MRS. STARK Oh, that reminds me I have some things to give you guys. Mrs. Stark pulls out a box filled with things to give to Christina and Austin. incense Mrs. Stark pulls out multiple things. She pulls out a fertility blank. lots of sic --- their final hours end their apartment Dinner tomorrow at Luther’s tomorrow. pg36 pg42 A truck pulls up outside a watch Austin and Chris from afar. pg43 --- formatting AUSTIN No. It’s not that. (pause) I wanna marry you. pg48 --- many hints/foreshadows -- first overt dramatic action Two hooded people standing behind her and they take her. pg54 - im wondering where we are --- she's from tempe -- they were at her parents house - yet they left st louis for la .... ??? pg56 sic Greg gives a half ass salute ass everyone gets pg56 - need description EXT. STAGE - NIGHT Sheriff Kane and his men are outside cleaning up and getting ready to prepare for their ceremony. pg58 - finally something is happening p59 - They here a truck driving by in the distance and they both turn bales --- hay bails cool movie title: racist homicidal white trash but i like moving day too 1-2 sic per page --- spell-check doesnt fix context p77 --- this could be built-up - make it more dramatic, tense Merle turns around and walks back towards Chris’ table and looks under it but Chris has already left from under the table. p80 - no clue what this means Both men go back inside to come down and get the gun. p87 - a poker or stoker He enters the living room and grabs one of the tools from the fireplace. p88 - great place to end movie --- the last shot is ok ... expected KANE (CONT’D) One, you shoot her or I shoot you. That simple. Two, you don’t shoot her. I shoot you then I shoot her. Your world Violet. Make a choice.

4 weeks ago
1 reviews
90 pages
Saif Maqbool just claimed a review for a television script
7 hours ago
Sensational She-Hulk tv series
Genre: Comedy,Action/Adventure
An emergency blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce Banner transformed ordinary attorney Jennifer Walters into the extraordinary She-Hulk, who gains celebrity superhero status and an awareness that she’s a character on a television show.
3 weeks ago
reviews
29 pages
Saif Maqbool just joined ScriptMother!
8 hours ago
Jimwell Camilon just claimed a review for a short script
21 hours ago
For sale, baby shoes, never worn short
Genre: Drama,Mystery/Suspense,Romance
Preparing for the arrival of a baby, a couple is given two cute baby shoes. Will they ever be used?
4 days ago
reviews
9 pages
Jimwell Camilon uploaded a television screenplay
21 hours ago
Crawl Don't Run tv series
Genre: Drama,Comedy
The tale of a comic legend who manages to find success despite suffering from a series of tragedies.
21 hours ago
reviews
55 pages
Jimwell Camilon just joined ScriptMother!
21 hours ago
jerry hansen just claimed a review for a feature script
1 day ago
Moving Day feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
4 weeks ago
1 reviews
90 pages
Sahar Itani just joined ScriptMother!
1 day ago
Cyle Brooks uploaded a feature screenplay
1 day ago
Shadow Vile Figure feature
Genre: Action/Adventure,Animation,Thriller
After getting God's permission to resurrect a dead teen, Satan doesn't realize his biggest fear is about to come true.
1 day ago
reviews
63 pages
Cyle Brooks just joined ScriptMother!
1 day ago
Daksh Patel just joined ScriptMother!
1 day ago
Rick Clark uploaded a feature screenplay
2 days ago
Reparat ions For A Serial Killer feature
Genre: Crime,Drama
A SERIAL KILLER BELIEVES HE IS OWED REPARATIONS, HE INSISTS ON BEING PAID...IN FULL MEASURE.
2 days ago
reviews
118 pages
A review was just purchased for a feature script. Claim it here.
2 days ago
feature
Genre: Comedy,Horror,Mystery/Suspense
In an alternate reality a young couple's weekend stay at a small town hotel reveals bigger secrets that the town has been hiding.
A review was just purchased for a short script. Claim it here.
2 days ago
short
Genre: Thriller,Mystery/Suspense
A careless young man finds his life falling apart after encountering a mysterious hooded stranger.
Devon Maloy just claimed a review for a short script
2 days ago
MAT short
Genre: Sci-Fi/Fantasy,Action/Adventure,Mystery/Suspense
A teddy bear, but... with emotions! How will he react? Will Mat do it?
6 days ago
reviews
5 pages

Comments

Devon
How do I see the deadline?
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Devon Maloy just joined ScriptMother!
2 days ago
Rodrigo Cosme completed a review for
3 days ago
Dog Person short
Genre: Comedy
Review Rating:

The concept of the story is very original. However, this doesn't always make the script, and therefore the story itself, very good. I can tell imagination ran wild for this one. It is noticeable you didn't plan this very well. It is possible to change it: develop the characters, make the story a bit longer. It is probably possible as well, to change the genre completely, maybe even to ANY genre. You can do a lot with this script, which just tells it isn't finished and not very well planned. With a script this short, it is hard to develop the characters. However, we do get an idea of how Pete is right from the beginning. This is both good and bad. Good because you were able to create a character based on their dialogue; but bad because it's the very first thing that happens. You should include a scene or two before we get to know this much about Pete. One thing that's essential in scripts is that the dialogue drives and paces the story along. You have nailed this objective throughout the whole script, as it's almost only the dialogue that does this. But be careful, you do not want to be doing this forever. Actions are also important, but not so much in comedies, so you've done a pretty good job there! Does the script read well? For a script to be read well, it needs to be well written AND match the universal rules of format and structure of screenwriting. You should check for these mistakes throughout the script. If you want, my email is at the end of this review, and you can contact me. I can then give you a list of the errors that need correction, and how to correct them. Otherwise, just go over the script either alone or with someone else who knows the rules, too. Lastly, I would like to mention that you have met the genre. By this, I mean that you were able to match the tone of your script and the events in the story's timeline with what's expected from a screenplay of this genre. Well done! Thank you for reading through this long comment; and sorry for having made it way too long. Please contact me at rodrigo.m.cosme@gmail.com if you have any questions. You can also contact me if you have any other (more general) questions and/or doubts about screenwriting. I will be more than pleased to help fellow screenwriters.

5 months ago
1 reviews
4 pages
Rodrigo Cosme just claimed a review for a short script
3 days ago
Dog Person short
Genre: Comedy
Can a man become a dog lover just to live in harmony with his wife? The answer is more complicated than it appears...
5 months ago
1 reviews
4 pages
Rodrigo Cosme just claimed a review for a short script
3 days ago
Wonderfully Made short
Genre: Romance,Family
A girl nervously gets ready for a date and has to remember that it's what on the inside that counts.
1 week ago
reviews
3 pages

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TV Series
Past hauntings force a twin back to her hometown to deal with her sister's suicide and the mess she left behind.

46 Pages Claim Review

TV Series
Past hauntings force a twin back to her hometown to deal with her sister's suicide and the mess she left behind.

46 Pages Claim Review

TV Series
An emergency blood transfusion from her cousin Bruce Banner transformed ordinary attorney Jennifer Walters into the extraordinary She-Hulk, who gains celebrity superhero status and an awareness that she’s a character on a television show.

29 Pages Claim Review

Short
A careless young man finds his life falling apart after encountering a mysterious hooded stranger.

36 Pages Claim Review

Script Babiessee more..

The following scripts have just arrived, but they're not quite ready yet. Before they can be eligible for official review, they need to pass the first 15 pages. Earn a few credits by providing a First 15 Review. Earn 4 Credits

According to Legend
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What starts as a simple missing persons case for a supernatural private detective turns into a city-wide conspiracy where the fate and survival of some of its citizens rests solely in his memories.

The Seer
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Lost Souls Pilot - Mother
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Past hauntings force a twin back to her hometown to deal with her sister's suicide and the mess she left behind.

Lost Souls - TV Pilot - Mother
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Past hauntings force a twin back to her hometown to deal with her sister's suicide and the mess she left behind.

Children of the 21st Century
Feature

Starting his new job, a young man finds himself gaining new friends and falling in love. Being a Sikh man, he now has to battle the consequences of an interfaith relationship in the modern day.

Dynamic Squad Action Team Go!
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When one of their old teammates dies, the remaining members of a former teenage superhero team reunite and discover that their friend might’ve died under mysterious circumstances.