"Hanging on a shot", "Stay here" Firm rule of scriptwriting, don't tell the director how to film the scene. If you want them to focus on a specific item or person, use words such as 'We see the glow of sunlight falling through a window onto a little girl's bed." Recommend removing "MATCH CUT TO:" you can leave out these types of transitions unless you want to emphasize a specific way to shift to a different scene to move the story forward. Otherwise, leave this to the director to choose. No need to describe Down's Syndrome. Recommend using more PRESENT TENSE rather than PAST TENSE. I loved the concept and I was emotionally invested in the characters Doug and Milana, even the UglyDoll "Squishy". This really used a silent character very well in his actions and facial emotions. I did wonder what did Doug do to deserve to send to the 'bad place' (hell). Maybe something he did or didn't do with Milana's mother that inadvertently caused her death during childbirth? The dialogue was short and did not feel stilted, which is good. Despite some minor grammar and formatting tweaking needed, this is a well-thought-out plot. Would it be possible to give more insight into the bond between Milana and Squishy? Why did he transform into a traveling friend? Could he have done something more in the cave with the demon bats? By the way, they didn’t spark fear because it felt like a common trope. For a short story, it’s well written with a good amount of adjectives. The scene with the journey after the accident, were the two killed or is that supposed to be ambiguous? Is it because he committed suicide by pills? I’d add an action scene of his downward spiral with an alcohol bottle and a faster way to die. Think of the most common suicide method done by males and use that as a focus vehicle for how he ended up in hell to travel to heaven. This had a flavor of the Robin William’s starring in “What Dreams May Come is a 1998 American fantasy drama film” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Dreams_May_Come_(film)) It's hard to describe the visceral feeling of a metaphysical environment, so making this more of a character-driven story would be the best way in my opinion to go. Maybe give a couple of sentences to show Doug's personality. Was he deeply in love with his wife or was he abusive or emotionally detached? You really captured the innocent love of a child for her father. I was confused with the picture frame found in hell rather than its corporeal form in real life. Maybe mention it in passing when you describe the father post-funeral and the picture is in the background.

WHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsVVWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsVWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsVVWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron enough, let the writer know how they can improve/change their protagonist/antagonist. Does the dialogue drive the story/character? Weak dialogue tends to meander back and forth, and has an inconsistent flow. Let the writer know if the voice of a character is inhibited by dialogue, or if a dialogue betwen characters isn't strong or impactful. Good dialogue sticks with the reader and leaves a mark throughout the story. It also has a tone and style that does justice to the "world" the writer has created in his/her script. Is the conflict real/genuine? Does the screenwriter set the stakes? Is the conflict clear and strong, or did you have troulbe figuring this out? A strong conflict is always established early and leaves no question as to what exactly is at stake. Pacing Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger form time to time? Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? A good climax is one that truly serves the story and buildup that previously took place. It's compelling, original, and stands as the highpoint of the plot. Let the reader know if their climax can be improved or enhanced to serve the script. Does the script read well? A good script is one that you flip through without stopping. If yourself flipping backwards in an attempt to backtrack for whatever reason, then there's likely an issue with the clarity and readability of the script. Screenwriters Script Directory Feature-length TV Series Short Film AuthorsWHAT NOT TO INCLUDE: Plot Summary: DO NOT retell the story in this portion of the review. The sysnopsis section already does. Avoid saying things like "I liked/disliked the story because". Your peers are not interested in whether you like or dislike the script. They're interested in whether you can discuss specific writing techniques the script writer has used to improve the script. CRITERIA: Is the Concept strong/original? A strong/original concept doesn't mean that the script can't take from an idea that's already been done. Tons of screenplays (especially action films) take from the same tried and true concepts. But a strong concept stands on its own with the script. In other words, a good story is one that truly BELONGS to the script. Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? The first ten pages of a script are essential. We're you drawn into the story before the ten pages mark, or did it drag along? What can the screenwriter change/improve in order to engage the audience and bring the reader in? Are scenes well-written? Well-written scenes have the proper timing, length, and clarity. If a scenes goes for too long, let the writer know. Tell the writer that a specific action sequence didn't hit you as hard as it should have. Be specific about the mistakes made, or techniques the writer can implement to improve the scene when rewriting. If the scene is pointless, tell the writer to remove it. If the scene(s) was well-written, let the writer know. Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? This one is essential. If the screenwriter wrote a strong/weak character, LET THEM KNOW. All good scripts depend on the quality of the main characters, and whether the audience actually cares about their story. Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? If the characters aren't stron en

Comments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingvvComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingvvComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingvComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingvComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharingComments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharing Comments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharing Comments - Is the Concept strong/original? The concept is strong and pretty original. - Does the logline/first ten pages draw the reader? It does, but it's honestly not that interesting which doesn't live up to the quality of the script itself. - Are scenes well-written? They are, but there were some random inconsistencies that pulled me away from the script. Some of the descriptions are a bit unnecessary but besides that, the scenes were seamlessly delivered. - Is the protagonist/antagonist compelling enough? Vivian took action and didn't just allow things to happen to her, making her a good protagonist to follow. The Black Butterflies were set up well as an evil secret society. - Does the character drive the story? Do you feel for the character? I liked Vivian and felt for her throughout the script. But there were some inconsistencies in some of the minor characters that can easily be addressed. - Does the dialogue drive the story/character? At times the dialogue felt too expository and a little unreal. But all around the dialogue fits the story. - Is the conflict real/genuine? The conflict builds as the story progresses, which was great. But there were moments where the conflict was built up unnecessarily, and I only say that because a small issue would arise and fix itself -- but nothing major. - Pacing It had a great pace. Although the last 2 pages felt like a drag. - Does the story flow naturally? Does it progress, or stagger from time to time? No critique on this. It progressed wonderfully. - Does the Climax/Resolution satisfy the reader? I enjoyed the climax, but the resolution didn't feel all that satisfying. The ending wasn't as sexy as the rest of the script, but I don't think it takes anything away from the quality of the script. - Does the script read well? Very well. It was a great read. Additional Notes This script was great and I really enjoyed reading it. There were a few moments that either didn't make sense or pulled me out but overall it was a great experience. I left notes as I was reading through on a PDF copy of your script. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1pgF33gis_Q1kPo0MrTm6K80CpO8H0RV9/view?usp=sharing